


It's Sedimentary, My Love

by comebaekhome



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Cheese, Coming of Age, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Romance, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love, jesus christ this gets so cheesy, like avoid this fic if youre lactose intolerant kind of cheesy, my boys are both oblivious and dumb, or maybe keep reading it if you enjoy suffering, theres also some xiuchen if u squint real hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-07-11 11:21:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19927249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comebaekhome/pseuds/comebaekhome
Summary: Just a cobble of friends, trying to make sense of their feelings.You get the schist.





	1. step by step, i follow you

**Author's Note:**

> it took me 2 years, but i finally finished a new fic !! honestly i'm rusty as heck, but i'm just happy i managed to write something before the year ended 
> 
> fun fact: the doc for this fic was named 'i am rock' since the day i started writing it and i got so used to the name that i forgot i actually needed to title it something that wasn't 'i am rock'

"What are you doing?" Chanyeol asked, bending his bow legs as Baekhyun was becoming well acquainted with the ground. The boy waved Chanyeol away with his free hand, using the other to dig away at the dirt before he shaking his head furiously and crawling to a new patch. 

"Baek?" he asked tentatively, the small boy still digging around without a response. "What's-" he began, jumping a bit when Baekhyun suddenly righted himself, a frown on his face as he looked at Chanyeol.

"What is it?" he asked, brows furrowed, clearly unhappy with being interrupted.

"You're acting weird... I wanted to know what you were doing," Chanyeol said with a pout. "You weren't responding either, I didn't know if you were okay or not."

Baekhyun's expression softened. "Oh..."

"So what were you doing?"

The boy looked around shiftily before gesturing for Chanyeol to come closer. "I'll tell you, but only if you keep it a secret."

Chanyeol bit his lip, face serious as he nodded at his friend, hands clasped tightly to his stomach with a soft hum. 

"Grandpa told me that the rocks in this garden..." he began, looking around to make sure no one was listening in, "are magic."

Chanyeol's eyes widened at that as he inhaled, pressing his hands closer to his body. "M-Magic?"

Baekhyun nodded. "They can grant you wishes and everything! But only the shiniest and sparkliest rocks will work. Grandma said that those are the ones that were given fairy magic."

"Fairies?" he asked, eyes wide.

"Shh! Not too loud, or people will hear you, Yoda!" 

Chanyeol's hand flew up to his mouth to cover it up. 

"So will you help me look?”

The boy nodded furiously and his friend broke out in a toothy grin. “Alright, Yoda. Let’s get us some wishes!”

~~~~~

They ended that day with their pockets filled to the brim with rocks, Chanyeol’s mother scolding him when she saw all the dirt collected on his pants. The boy couldn’t find it within him to care, not when he got to see Baekhyun’s dazzling smile every time they came across a particularly shiny rock.

His best friends since diapers, Baekhyun always seemed to have this effect on Chanyeol. The boy could never really explain why, but the more he tried to make sense of it, the less he seemed to care. Baekhyun’s smile was enough to keep him content.

It was also Baekhyun’s smile that got him in trouble for stupid things.

It was that smile that got Chanyeol to climb one of the taller trees in the park, ripping his pants as the boy scrambled up the trunk to join his friend on a thick branch. It was that smile that got him to take a mint from a restaurant, causing mild panic in the boy before he realized that the mints were complimentary. It was that smile that got him to approach a flighty cat, leaving the both of them covered in scratches that left scars on their hands.

Looking back on it all, Chanyeol supposes it’s something they can laugh about comfortably now.

They’ve been together for as long as he can remember and he can only hope they’ll stay together for just as long.

They walk down their street together, Baekhyun stopping every so often to inspect a rock before straightening up and continuing on his way. He had stopped believing in that kind of magic long after his grandparents passed, but still found himself holding onto that little memory of them.

Admittedly, it did hurt Chanyeol a bit on the inside whenever he saw the small boy pick up a rock triumphantly, looking up to the heavens and murmuring something softly before pocketing it, but he supposes if Baekhyun’s happy, that’s all that really matters.

The two make it to Baekhyun’s home, though at this point, it might as well have been Chanyeol’s as well. The taller dropped his bag on the foot of Baekhyun’s bed, plopping himself on the comforter as the smaller took off his school blazer, placing it neatly on his chair with a sigh. Chanyeol’s gaze drifts to the windowsill as the smaller changes into comfier clothes, gaze falling on a collection of rocks. He smiles.

“Hey Baek?” he calls, the smaller responding with a hum before taking a seat on the bed. Chanyeol reaches into his pocket, producing a beautifully smooth stone, sparkling in the light when held at the right angle. “I found you another one.”

Baekhyun smiled as he leaned forward, picking up the rock from Chanyeol’s outstretched palm.

“Where’d you get this one?”

“I was at the beach with my family over the weekend and I thought it looked nice.”

“Thanks, Yeol,” Baekhyun said, clasping his hands around the stone as he held it close to his chest, eyes closed for a moment before he put it on the windowsill with the rest.

“What did you wish for?”

Baekhyun smiled. “That grandpa and grandma are doing well in heaven. Or wherever they are,” the boy sighed wistfully. “Do you think they’re together?”

“If I knew your grandparents, nothing would be able to keep them apart.”

Baekhyun chuckled as he lay down on the bed next to Chanyeol. “They were always inseparable, huh?”

“You can say that again.”

The smaller sighed as the two sat in silence for a moment. “What about you?”

“What _about_ me?”

“What do you wish for?”

“I don’t have any rock to wish on.” Chanyeol said, stretching his arms above his head.

“What if you did? What would you wish for?”

“Probably to pass my math test.”

Baekhyun let out an airy laugh. “Of all the things to wish for, you wish to pass your test? You wouldn’t wish to win the lottery? Or to be able to fly?”

“I don’t think you understand, Baek. I’m gonna need some divine intervention to pass that test.”

“Or maybe you could just study for it?”

Chanyeol rolled over onto his side, long arm stretched across Baekhyun’s stomach as he pulled him closer. “But I’m busy.”

“Doing what?”

“Spending some time with my bestest best friend in this world.”

“Uh-huh. I’m sure Ms. Kwon is gonna _love_ that excuse when you fail.”

Chanyeol pouted. “I’m hurt, Baek. It’s almost like you don’t believe in my ability to pass that test.”

“That might have to do with the fact that I _don’t_ trust you to pass the test. Hell, _you_ don’t even trust yourself to pass the test,” Baekhyun chuckled, nuzzling into the taller’s embrace. “You’re lucky you give cozy hugs, or else I would’ve thrown you off my bed by now.”

“I forget you’re a big scary hapkido master sometimes…”

  
“I’m not big, scary, or a hapkido master.” Baekhyun said, brows raised in amusement.

“You’re big! To… toddlers. And you’re better at hapkido than I am, so to me, you’re a master.”

“And what about the scary part?”

“Oh, that’s not even an argument, you’re totally scary.”

“Excuse you, I’m like, the least scary person around.”

“I’d beg to differ.”

“Okay, says the one that makes toddlers cry when he walks by the park.”

“That’s not my fault! I’m like a walking skyscraper to them, okay? That doesn’t mean I’m a scary person!”

“Right, you’re only scary _looking._ Because that’s definitely _much_ better.”

“You know, I’m really glad we see eye-to-eye on this.” Chanyeol laughed. Baekhyun rolled his eyes, smiling nonetheless.

“You’re an idiot.”

“But I’m _your_ idiot~” Chanyeol reminded him.

“Yes, and I’m still eagerly awaiting the day I can pawn you off to the next unsuspecting idiot who happens to come around.”

“Aw Baek, you don’t mean that. You lo~ove me!”

“Keep telling yourself that, Yoda.” Baekhyun laughed as he pried himself out of Chanyeol’s grasp, sitting up on his bed with a sigh. Chanyeol followed suit, crossing his legs on Baekhyun’s bed as he leaned forward slightly, cocking his head to the side as he watched the smaller stretch before getting on his feet.

“Where’re you going, Baek?” he asked as the smaller turned to spare a look at him. “Come back to bed, Baekkie-boo~” he cooed with a large smile, the elder only rolling his eyes at his friend.

“Getting away from you,” he said lightly, pulling the chair away from his desk and taking a seat.

Chanyeol pouted. “But why? I’m so nice and warm and sweet and cuddly and loveable! I’m like a giant teddy bear!”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Yeol,” Baekhyun said with an airy chuckle as he reached into his bag, pulling out his notebook. He rolled his eyes when he saw Chanyeol’s lip jut out a bit more. “I need to study, giant. I actually plan on passing that test tomorrow.”

“I’ll pass!” Chanyeol insisted. “I might need a little rock magic, but I’ll be fine!”

“Keep telling yourself that, Yoda.” Baekhyun said with a chuckle as he flipped through his textbook, Chanyeol flopping back on the bed with a sigh, tapping a rhythm out on his stomach with his fingers.

They sit in a comfortable silence for some time after, Chanyeol tilting his head in Baekhyun’s direction to get a glimpse of the smaller boy, brows furrowed in concentration as he scribbled formulas onto his paper.

The giant smiled before turning his attention to the ceiling of the room. The two had known each other for as long as they could remember, been best friends for just as long. Chanyeol raises his hand to his face, inspecting the scar on his palm that ran from the centre down to his wrist. He gave it a small smile before looking back at his friend with a contented sigh.

“Do you ever think about all the stupid stuff we’ve done together?” Chanyeol muses, breaking the silence in the room.

“You ask that like we’ve ever done anything together that _wasn’t_ stupid.” Baekhyun responded without looking up from his notes.

“Hand?” Chanyeol asked, inching a bit closer to where Baekhyun was at his desk, holding out his scarred hand. Baekhyun wordlessly reached out his hand for Chanyeol to see, a matching scar on the smaller boy’s opposite hand, starting at the base of his thumb, extending almost as far as the base of his pinky finger.

Chanyeol laced their fingers together silently. “Do you ever _regret_ the stupid stuff we’ve done together?”

Baekhyun looked up from his notes for a moment, turning back to Chanyeol with his brows furrowed. “Of course not, you big idiot. What would I have to regret?”

Chanyeol shrugged. “That cat did a number on your pretty little hand.”

Baekhyun pulled his hand out of Chanyeol’s grasp, earning himself a small whine from the giant. “It did on you too, but do you regret that day we spent together?”

“I mean…”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “We got bandaged up almost immediately after and then grandpa and grandma brought us out for ice cream. I wouldn’t really consider that a bad memory.”

“I guess not…”

The small boy turned back to his notes with a smile, picking up his pen and spinning it between his fingers. “I like to see it as a reminder of all the dumb things we’ve done as friends. And probably all the dumb things we’re gonna do together when we get older, too.”

Chanyeol stared at his friend, feeling his heart thumping dully in his chest. “But what happens when you get a boyfriend and then you love him with all your heart and then there’s no more room for me and then you forget about me?”

Baekhyun laughed softly. “I guess I’ll just erase the scar off my hand along with every memory I’ve had before meeting him. I’m not gonna forget about you if I get a boyfriend, dumbo.”

“What if he doesn’t want you hanging out around me anymore?”

“Then I guess I’m getting myself a new boyfriend.”

“But-“

Baekhyun hummed as he began scribbling on his papers again. “Not up for discussion, Yeol.”

The giant gave the boy a small smile before looking back up at the ceiling, trying to ignore the thumping in his chest.

~~~~~

Byun Baekhyun and Park Chanyeol were many things, but they were definitely _not_ dating. ~~Even though Chanyeol really wished they were.~~

The two of them have always been very touchy people, more often opting to lean on one another or lace their hands together than not. Chanyeol likes to think it means a bit more to Baekhyun when they hold hands, as opposed to when the small boy holds hands with any of their other friends, likes to think that, at times, he is the only one that truly matters.

He wonders if Baekhyun ever thinks about him as much as he thinks about Baekhyun. If every rock Baekhyun sees reminds him of Chanyeol like it does for the giant.

But the number of times Baekhyun has vehemently denied a relationship between the two in front of new friends, the number of times it looked like the sheer idea was nothing short of ridiculous- it was clear that Baekhyun didn’t feel the same way.

For now, he can only hope that the smaller will one day reciprocate his feelings. Until then, Chanyeol’s content with being best friends.

They walk to school together as they always do, Chanyeol retelling a story animatedly as Baekhyun shifts his glasses out of the way to rub the sleep out of his eyes, much too tired that morning to even bother with his contacts.

He smiles as he sees Baekhyun yawn, nodding along tiredly to the giant’s story, more shuffling down the street than he was walking. He let out a soft hum of acknowledgement every few sentences or so, and Chanyeol just wanted to wrap him up in blankets and never let him go.

Baekhyun only becomes semi-alert when he spots a nice rock on the ground, bending over to pick it up, inspecting it in his hand before leaving it on the ground, straightening up with another yawn, looking as groggy as ever.

They make it to school not long after, Chanyeol walking Baekhyun to his classroom, taking the empty seat in front of the smaller boy as a few other students filed into the room. Baekhyun puts his head on the table, not caring how his glasses shifted uncomfortably on his face.

“How late did you sleep last night?” Chanyeol asked, resting his head on one hand. “You look terrible.”

“I _feel_ terrible.”

“Are you at least ready for the test?”

Baekhyun yawned, only offering him a small shrug as his eyelids fluttered shut. Chanyeol bit the inside of his lip, sliding one strap of his backpack off his shoulder to go through its contents. He got to his feet as he pulled out a small strawberry milk carton and a cookie, putting it on the desk before ruffling Baekhyun’s hair.

“Eat up, Baek. You need the energy.”

Baekhyun only hummed in reply, a sign that he was already half asleep. Chanyeol rolled his eyes with a smile, carefully pulling the smaller’s phone out of his pocket, setting an alarm for a few minutes before class started. He left the device near Baekhyun’s head with a gentle exhale.

“What would you do without me?” he asked the unconscious boy softly. Chanyeol stuck his hands in his pocket and turned to leave, stopping in his tracks as his hand grazed a small rock. He pulled it out with a smile, quietly wishing Baekhyun good luck on his test before leaving it on the boy’s desk. He ruffled Baekhyun’s hair once more, watching the boy’s head tilt a little in response before going to his own classroom.

~~~~~

“You’re so whipped for him,” Jongdae said, sitting comfortably with his legs up on his desk. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you two were dating.”

“What are you going on about?” Chanyeol asked, eyes narrowing at his friend as he took his seat next to him.

“You and Baek. I know you were over at his classroom being all lovey dovey again. Does that boy even know you like him?”

“What do you mean ‘again’? We’re never lovey dovey,” Chanyeol said, voice lowering a bit. “He fell asleep anyways, so we didn’t even really get to talk…”

Jongdae scoffed. “Whipped.”

“Am not.”

“So what was it today? Granola bar and some juice?”

Chanyeol averted eye contact, pulling his books out of his bag. “It was milk and a cookie.”

“Did you leave him a rock?”

Chanyeol rolled his eyes. “You know I _always_ leave him a rock before a test.”

Jongdae whistled. “Touchy, touchy, Park. Calm down Yeollie, it’s not like I’m after your boyfriend or anything.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Chanyeol muttered almost dejectedly. “We’re just friends.”  


“Why don’t you change that? Just ask him out. There’s no point in waiting, you know Baek would say yes to you in a heartbeat.”

Chanyeol pulled his lips into a tight line, wanting to deny his friend’s claim but unable to get the words out. Jongdae smirked, leaning back in his chair as the classroom door swung open, their teacher’s shrill voice yelling at the boy for having his feet on the desk.

Jongdae shrunk back, muttering apologies as he sat back normally in his chair, giving Chanyeol a small glare when the giant tried, and failed, to muffle his laughter.

~~~~~

They meet up at lunch at their usual table in the cafeteria, lounged as comfortably as they could on the hard plastic chairs. Chanyeol smiled when he saw Baekhyun sipping innocently at the strawberry milk he had left for him that moment. 

His eyes met with Jongdae’s knowing ones for a moment, the older smiling mischievously before turning his attention to Baekhyun.

“So, how’d your test go?” he asked, taking a bite of his lunch. Baekhyun gave him a smile.

“Surprisingly, not that bad! I honestly would’ve slept through it if Yeol didn’t set an alarm on my phone, but I was up on time and I had a good luck rock and a cookie to keep me awake. So I think I at least passed it.”

“Wow, how _sweet_ of Chanyeol,” Jongdae said, exaggerating his words. “He’d probably make a _great_ boyfriend. Wouldn’t you agree, Baek?”

Chanyeol glared at Jongdae, but his attention was on Baekhyun, who was giving him a strange look. “I mean, yeah, I’m sure he would be,” Baekhyun began before looking back at Chanyeol, tugging lightly on one of his ears. “If someone is open to dating overgrown fairies.”

“H-Hey!” Chanyeol sputtered. Baekhyun only laughed.

“Calm down, you know I love your overgrown ears, Chanyeol.”

Jongdae grinned, focus going back to his lunch as Baekhyun cooed at Chanyeol, causing the tips of the giant’s ears to go red.

Sometimes he really hated Jongdae.

~~~~~

Their senior year of high school was some of the best and worst times for Chanyeol.

The general stress of getting good grades to be considered by his top universities was worse than any other stress he had encountered in his high school career, but if there’s anything that made it better, it was Baekhyun. After school study sessions with the smaller, the trips they’d take together to find new places to eat- it made it all worthwhile.

Sometimes they’d find themselves in the other’s room at the break of dawn, staring up at the ceiling as they lay side by side in silence.

“Do you think we’ll still be friends, even if we don’t make it into the same school?” Baekhyun murmured into the darkness one night. “I don’t know what I’d do if we weren’t still friends.”

Chanyeol only smiled, finding Baekhyun’s scarred hand in the dark and giving it a quick squeeze. “You couldn’t get rid of me if you _tried._ ”

Other times, they’d spend their time together in their school’s library, caught in barely-productive study sessions.

“What did you get for question 3?” Chanyeol asked one day as they were seated in their usual spot, textbooks and notes strewn across the table. There was silence between the two for a moment causing the giant to look up from his notes. “Baek?”

The smaller boy blinked. “Hmm?”

“What did you get for number 3?” Chanyeol asked again, the smaller boy shaking his head and flipping through his notes.

“Right, uh…” he mumbled as his finger ran down the page, looking for the answer.

“Baek? Are you okay?” Chanyeol asked. “You seem… kinda out of it.”

The smaller pursed his lips for a moment before deflating with a sigh, not bothering to come up with excuses. He knows Chanyeol could see right through it if he tried. “You know Sehun, right?”

“Is he the one in your homeroom?”

“Yeah. He, uh… He asked me out earlier today.”

A lump formed in Chanyeol’s throat. “Did he?” he asked, trying not to sound strained. “What did you say?”

If Baekhyun noticed anything weird, he didn’t make a show of it. He only spun his pencil between his fingers, staring down at his textbook.

“It was a little sudden, so I told him I’d get back to him on it.”

Chanyeol couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped his lips at that, though the lump in his throat showed no signs of disappearing. “You sound like you’re scheduling an appointment more than a potential date.”

Baekhyun frowned a bit and Chanyeol felt a pang in his heart. “Yeol, be serious! I’m having a crisis here! I don’t know what to do.”

“Do you _want_ to go out with the dude?”

_Please say no, please say no, please say no-_

“I mean… I wouldn’t be entirely opposed to it.”

_Shit._

“Then I guess you have your answer then.” Chanyeol said, swallowing hard.   


“But… I’ve never been on a date before. What if something goes wrong? What if _everything_ goes wrong?”

“What would go wrong?”

“Maybe I’ll dress badly and he’ll think I’m a slob and hate me! Maybe we’ll eat dinner and I’ll get food stuck in my teeth and he’ll be too nice to say anything so I’ll look like an idiot the entire evening! Maybe- “

“Baek, if he’s that superficial to not like you anymore based on what you look like, he’s not worth your time.”

“Then… what if he turns out to be an asshole?”

“You don’t need to go on any more dates with him then.”

“What if he thinks that _I’m_ the asshole?”

“That would probably require you to, I don’t know, _be_ an asshole?”

Baekhyun looked over at him, opening his mouth to speak but closing it again when he found nothing to say.

“There’s no harm in going out with him once. If things work out, then they work out.”

“And if they don’t?”  


Chanyeol ignored the butterflies in his stomach.

“Then come back to me.”


	2. without you knowing, i match my footsteps

The two go on their date that weekend, leaving Chanyeol alone on his and Baekhyun’s typical video game night. He lays down on his bed, head hanging off the edge with his long limbs running up the wall, guitar sat on his stomach as he strummed experimentally.

Things were always a lot quieter when Baekhyun wasn’t around.

Every few moments, he’d pick up his phone, checking for any sign of communication from Baekhyun. None came.

He sighed as he put his phone back down, returning to mindlessly strumming his guitar. He scanned his room from his bed, everything upside down and starting to blur. He groaned as he sat up, blood rushing back down as he rubbed his temple with the butt of his palm. He cast another forlorn glance to his phone, deflating when he saw that there were no more notifications than there were a few moments ago.

A part of him regrets encouraging his friend to go on that date. Maybe if he didn’t, the smaller would be by his side now, soft voice singing along with his guitar as they lay side by side on the giant’s bed.

He smiled a bit to himself at the image, trying to calm the beating in his chest.

His finger danced across the strings of his guitars, hearing the chords ring out softly before he left his hand to rest on the soft comforter of his bed.

He groaned, running a hand through his hair. He really needed to get his mind off things.

_It’s not like his life revolved around Baekhyun. He could live without him for a few hours. Even if being without him meant that Baekhyun was off with someone else. It was okay. It was just one date. Not that it mattered anyways. High school relationships rarely ever work out in the end. Odds are that—_

A sharp ringtone snapped Chanyeol out of his thoughts, the tall boy diving for his phone vibrating incessantly on his bed. His fingers slipped over themselves as he tried to grip the device, answering the call quickly and almost slamming it to his ear.

“Hello?” he said quickly, almost out of breath.

_“Someone’s breathing heavy. Spending another lonely night with your favourite hand?”_ a voice asked, a lilt in their tone. Chanyeol deflated, pulling the phone away from his ear to check the caller ID.

“What do you want, Jongdae?”

_“You’re always so mean to me, Yeollie. Maybe sometimes I just wanna have a quality conversation with my friend.”_

Chanyeol rolled his eyes. “Alright Dae. Converse away, then.”

The line went silent for a moment.

“You didn’t think this far, did you?”

_“Shut up, I’m thinking now.”_

“Well, if you’ll excuse me, I have a call I’m waiting for.”

_“Are you waiting on Baek? Is that why you answered the phone in such a hurry?”_

“… No.”

_“Ah you’re so in love with the kid, it hurts a bit to watch.”_

“I just… I wanna make sure everything went well with him. He went on a date with Sehun tonight.”

Jongdae sputtered. _“He went on a date?! And it wasn’t with you?”_

“Don’t remind me, Dae.”

_“You guys are practically joined at the hip, I’m surprised that he didn’t bring you along with him. I didn’t even know it was possible for you two to be separated for this long.”_

Chanyeol let out a soft sigh. “It’s… whatever.”

_“Doesn’t sound like it.”_

Chanyeol felt the phone vibrate against his cheek, pulling it away and feeling his heart flutter a bit.

“I have to go, it’s- “

_“Of course, Baekhyun awaits. I’ll see you tomorrow.”_

Chanyeol took in a deep breath before accepting the other boy’s call, clearing his throat before returning the phone to his ear.

“Hello?”

_“Hey Yeol!”_

“Baek!” he said with feigned excitement. “How did your date go?”

The smaller boy only giggled softly through the phone. _“Actually… it went really well.”_

Chanyeol grit his teeth. “Really?” he asked, trying not to let anything seep into his tone.

_“Yeah! Sehun was like, five times more nervous than I was. Apparently, he had been trying to work up the nerve to ask me out for like two months now,”_ Baekhyun said with another laugh. _“It was actually really cute. He couldn’t even look me in the eyes for the first ten minutes.”_

“Some date that must’ve been.” Chanyeol muttered under his breath.

_“I mean, once he got over his nerves, he was really funny and charming,”_ Baekhyun continued, seemingly not hearing his friend. _“I wasn’t expecting it, honestly. He’s always so stoic in class. I honestly thought he hated me before a few days ago.”_ He concluded with a chuckle.

“Good to know it went well.” Chanyeol said half-heartedly.

There was a pause.

_“Yeol, are you doing okay?”_

“Yeah, yeah. I’m just tired.”

_“Do you want me to swing by? The night’s still young, we can make up video game time~”_

“Nah, you don’t need to- “

_“I can be there in less than five minutes with food~”_

Chanyeol smiled into the receiver. He could never really deny his friend.

“You’d better bring the sour- “

_“Cream and onion chips from the corner store, no need to remind me, Yoda. It’s in my best friend duties to remember.”_

The giant rolled his eyes, a slight smile playing on his lips. “Alright, alright. Just be here in 20 or I’m not letting you in.”

He could hear a soft laughter from the other end.

_“Aye, aye, Captain.”_

And in a matter of minutes, Baekhyun was at Chanyeol’s front door, arms full of Chanyeol’s favourite snacks with a smile stretched across his face. The giant rolled his eyes as the smaller welcomed himself in, Chanyeol catching a whiff of an unfamiliar smell on his clothes.

“You smell… Different.”

“Different good, different bad?” he asked as he slipped his shoes off, making a beeline for Chanyeol’s room.

“Just… Different.”

Baekhyun hummed, shouldering the door to the giant’s room open. “I didn’t wear anything new tonight… Maybe I just spent too much time near Sehun.”

Chanyeol furrowed his brow. “Why the hell would you smell like Sehun?”

The smaller laughed. “Well, I _did_ just go on a date with him.”

“Yeah, but you can… hang out with someone without smelling like them after. What were you doing with him?”

“Calm the interrogation, Yoda. We went to watch a movie and I guess we just got a little close.”

“On your first date? Were you at his place?” he said, voice coming out more aggressive than he intended it to.

Baekhyun plopped the snacks on the taller’s bed, turning to look at him with his brows raised. “You seem awfully invested in this date.”

“Baekhyun- “

“We went out to the theatre,” he said almost apprehensively, sitting in front of the TV. “He was wearing some kind of cologne and he just put his arm around me. It’s not like we made out or anything, and he didn’t try anything other than that, okay?”

Chanyeol set his lips in a tight line, taking a seat on his bed as Baekhyun started up the game console.

“Are you gonna go out with him again?” Chanyeol asked softly as Baekhyun turned to hand him one of the controllers and settled down with his back against the bed frame. The smaller cast his glance to the ground, fingers fiddling with the controller absentmindedly.

“Maybe? Probably? I don’t know yet.”

“Would you… want to?”

“I don’t know, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun said with a sigh, still not looking Chanyeol in the eyes. The taller frowned, but the smaller’s tensed frame told him not to press on the topic anymore.

~~~~~

For some time after, things seem like they always were.

Though Baekhyun was a little more distant than he used to be, the pair still met up at the school’s library every other evening to study for their exams, still finding time every weekend to play video games and just spend time with each other.

For some time, it’s like nothing changed.

But a month or two before graduation, Chanyeol found himself alone on more nights than ever, found himself sitting alone at a library table meant for two, on the edge of his bed, finding less fun in games when it was just him playing.

It was always something every week.

_“Sehun wanted to grab some bubble tea.”_

_“Sehun needed me to help him with his math homework.”_

_“Sehun has a cold so I’m bringing over some soup for him!”_

Sehun, Sehun, _Sehun_. It was always _Sehun_. Like an awkwardly lanky whirlwind, the boy had come into their lives and swept Baekhyun away from Chanyeol. Since Baekhyun and Sehun’s first date a few months ago, the tall boy had made a very awkward presence around Chanyeol.

Even after months of Baekhyun and Sehun dating, Chanyeol has yet to maintain a full conversation with the other boy, only ever exchanging awkward greetings whenever they bumped into each other with Baekhyun present.

Their relationship was awkward, to say the least.

Chanyeol sighed as he leaned back against the frame of his bed, staring forlornly at the empty space next to him like the love-struck teenager that he was, rejected by his first love (he may not have been directly rejected but it still hurt).

It had been a good two weeks since he last spent one on one time with Baekhyun, only ever hanging out with him with someone else around, and as of late, that _someone else_ was almost always Sehun.

If Chanyeol had known how well the two would’ve gotten along, maybe he wouldn’t have encouraged Baekhyun to go on that date.

If Chanyeol had known how well the two would’ve gotten along, maybe he would’ve taken his chance when he still had one.

But he supposes there was no point in him dwelling on the past now. Even if it hurt in the moment, something told Chanyeol the pair wouldn’t last long. Be it his own internalized hopes or a lack of compatibility between the two, Chanyeol wasn’t sure. He knew from Baekhyun’s rambles that he and Sehun had different plans after high school, had different dreams that they were going to pursue from different places, and the giant firmly believed their relationship wouldn’t be able to stand the test of distance. He hates to admit it, but it gave him a sick of satisfaction. Baekhyun may be spending his time with Sehun now, but at the end of the day, Sehun didn’t grow up with Baekhyun.

Sehun wasn’t Baekhyun’s best friend.

Sehun didn’t spend his life so irrevocably in love with Baekhyun.

But then why did it hurt Chanyeol so much to see Baekhyun so happy around Sehun?

Chanyeol let out a sigh as he threw his head back until it met the soft fabric of his comforter, eyes drifting to Baekhyun’s usual spot on his bed, wishing that Baekhyun was back here with him instead.

~~~~~

Chanyeol stood on the street, waiting awkwardly and wondering whether Baekhyun was even home. It had been a while since they had walked to school together, the older often going to school much earlier to tutor Sehun in math.

He shifted his balance on his feet, staring up at Baekhyun’s window, waiting for movement, a shadow, _anything_ that would tell him if Baekhyun was still up there.

Chanyeol checked his phone one more time, the screen still absent of any response from Baekhyun. After a few moments, he deflated, assuming that Baekhyun had already left long ago, trudging down the streets on his way to school.

He just makes it down the street before a force hits him in the back, causing him to stumble forward, flailing as he tried to steady himself. He has half a mind to yell at whoever collided into him, but the moment he turned around, he was met with the beaming face of his best friend. All his anger dissipated and Chanyeol curses himself for being so weak.

“Yoda! I saw you outside the window earlier but when I came down, you were gone.”

Chanyeol shrugged. “I figured you already left to go study with Sehun.” He said, trying hard not to spit the boy’s name.

“Ah…”

“Why aren’t you with him now?”

“I mean, I _was_ gonna go study with him, but I realized it’s been a while since we just hung out so I took a rain check.”

Chanyeol nodded, eyes watching their feet as they fell into step like they always did.

“How have you been lately? I feel like I haven’t heard from you in ages.”

_Maybe because you’re off with Sehun all the time._ “Yeah, it’s been a while.”

“We should catch up soon. I’ve missed hanging out with you.”

Chanyeol nodded, smiling a bit as they continued on their way.

“I know I haven’t exactly been present for the past few weeks, and I’m sorry about that. I miss you, Yoda.”

“I missed you too.” _More than you know._

Baekhyun smiled. “Dinner tonight? My treat~”

Chanyeol rolled his eyes. “Well obviously I _have_ to come now.”

“School gates at 4?”

“I’ll be there.”

~~~~~

For a while that night, it felt like it was just them again. Like it was them against the world again and Sehun was never a part of their lives.

He missed it so much.

They were never the type to go out and have fancy dinners, the two opting instead to stay in and order fried chicken instead. Chanyeol would smile whenever he watched the older boy eat so excitedly, giving up all the best pieces of the chicken just to see him beam. He didn’t mind as long as Baekhyun stayed happy.

He wants to curse himself for being so weak around the boy, but he knows there was a reason he had spent so much time in love with his friend.

Every smile makes his heart flutter out of his chest, every joke has him doubled over and laughing until his cheeks hurt, every touch gives him heart palpitations. Everything about Baekhyun made him feel elated.

And Chanyeol wasn’t sure if he was ever going to be ready to share that feeling with anyone else.

He knew he was being selfish—Baekhyun was his own person, and he was allowed to spend his time with whoever he wanted to, he was allowed to date whoever he wanted to— but the thought of anyone else spending these nights with Baekhyun, the thought of _Sehun_ spending these nights with Baekhyun, just left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Chanyeol too, had stopped believing in the magic qualities of rocks long ago, but the hope that something, _anything_ could keep Baekhyun from leaving his side had him picking them up from the side of the street like he did when he was a child, wishing as hard as he could for his dreams to come true.

Wishing that Baekhyun could finally be his.

~~~~~

Months pass, and not much changes.

Chanyeol keeps wishing on rocks and Baekhyun splits his time after school between him and Sehun. The end of the school term was fast approaching, and there wasn’t much time before they were to graduate. He had spent all of his free time working on his university applications, and he knew that when Baekhyun was alone, he was doing the same.

There was too much to do and not enough time to get it done, and Chanyeol spent more time awake than he did asleep, more time cooped up in libraries than he did in the comfort of his own home.

It isn’t until he’s clutching a letter from his top choice in schools, opening his door to rush to his best friend’s home that he sees Baekhyun standing at his door, one hand raised to knock as the other tightly holding a letter from the same school. The older boy enters without a word, both too nervous to say anything as Chanyeol grabs the letter opener from his dining table, hurriedly ripping the seal on his letter before giving it to Baekhyun, waiting for him to do the same.

They take a deep breath together, pulling the papers out of their envelopes and quickly scanning its contents before their eyes met again, both sporting matching grins on their faces.

Before Chanyeol can even register it, Baekhyun throws himself forward, nuzzling his face into the crook on Chanyeol’s neck, arms wrapped tightly around the taller’s waist. It takes him a moment to wrap his own arms around the smaller, holding him close.

Time stood still for a moment, and all that existed in that space was the two of them, all that mattered was Chanyeol and the boy in his arms.

“It’s happening, Yeol,” Baekhyun murmured into the collar of his taller friend’s shirt. “It’s really happening.”

Chanyeol placed his lips on the crown of Baekhyun’s head, not quite enough to call it a kiss, but enough to bury Baekhyun further into the crook of his neck. He let his eyes flutter closed for a moment as he felt the warmth of the smaller against him, letting out an airy chuckle.

Baekhyun pulled away, hurriedly wiping his eyes with his sleeve with a small laugh. “I would’ve thought with your work ethic you would’ve never gotten in.”

Chanyeol cupped Baekhyun’s cheek with his hand, drying any excess tears on the boy’s face with his thumb. “What’re you crying for, squirt? It’s gonna take more than my terrible work ethic to keep me away from you,” he said jokingly, heart slightly aching. “You know you’re stuck with me till death, right?”

Baekhyun smiled that smile that sent butterflies flying in the pit of Chanyeol’s stomach, shaking his head lightly. “You’re the one that’s stuck with me, Yoda. I’m gonna be like a leech on you in university. You’re gonna _wish_ you could get rid of me.”

_Never._ “I don’t mind leeches as long as they’re cute, so you’re safe for now, Byun.” He says with a gentle ruffle of Baekhyun’s hair.

“It’ll always be you and me.”

~~~~~

The rest of the semester passes by in such a flash that they’re graduating before Chanyeol can really register it, sitting in his robes with his hands bunched in his lap as he sat through speech after endless speech. By the time the graduates began lining up to receive their diplomas, Chanyeol was shifting uncomfortably in his seat, both out of soreness and in an attempt to catch a glimpse of Baekhyun in line.

He gets his wish when the graduates begin filing on stage, and Chanyeol can feel his heart beat a little harder when he sees his friend, completely swallowed by the graduation robes and wearing a cap that flattened his bangs against his forehead. Baekhyun accepted his diploma with a dazzling smile, turning his head to the audience for a moment, scanning, scanning, scanning until his eyes met with Chanyeol’s, giving the boy a beam as he walked off stage. The giant’s heart fluttered, his ears turning pink as he gave a smile back.

It was something meant just for him, a smile that Baekhyun wouldn’t give anyone else but Chanyeol.

Not their peers, not any of their other friends, not even Sehun.

The entire interaction couldn’t have lasted more than a few seconds, and though Chanyeol hadn’t thought of taking a picture of it in the moment, he knows it’s an image he wasn’t soon to forget.

The rest of the ceremony doesn’t last that much longer, Chanyeol only barely managing to make it across the stage himself without falling flat on his face. He grips the rolled sheet of paper in his hand tightly, holding it to his chest as the last speech of the night came to an end, dismissing the students and their families from their seats. He’s still holding the paper tightly when he rises, wandering around the grounds to look for Baekhyun.

He perks up when he sees his own family in a conversation with Baekhyun’s, walking up to greet them. He was welcomed with congratulations from both families, patting him on the back and giving him flowers as they smiled up at him. But with his best friend nowhere to be seen, Chanyeol keeps craning his neck out, briefly catching his sister’s gaze as she gave him a knowing smile. She nodded her head back towards the crowd of his peers, silently telling him to go out and look for Baekhyun as she engaged everyone else in conversation, taking the focus away from him.

He gave her a smile in thanks before turning and entering the crowd again.

It was a hot summer day, and he could feel himself baking in his long robes as he waded through the crowd of students, but he couldn’t stop until he found his friend.

Finally, he sees him. Under the shade of a tree, talking excitedly to Jongdae. Chanyeol’s steps slow to a stop when he hears Baekhyun laugh, the sound all boisterous and unabashed and Chanyeol can feel his heart flutter again. Jongdae takes notice of him after a moment, Baekhyun following the boy’s gaze to Chanyeol, standing awkwardly away from anyone else. Without hesitation, the small boy runs to him, closing the gap and wrapping his arms around the giant’s waist to bury his face in the tall boy’s chest as Chanyeol’s arms raised to embrace him back.

Jongdae laughs, taking relaxed steps towards the two as Baekhyun pulls away.

“I can’t believe it’s finally over!” Baekhyun said. 

“Who would’ve thought Yeol was gonna make it this far?” Jongdae said, patting a hand on the tall boy’s shoulder. “I thought for sure you were either gonna flunk out or get eaten by Ms. Kwon after failing so many math tests.”

“Don’t speak too soon, Dae. He could totally still flunk out of university.” Baekhyun said.

“You’re one to talk, Jongdae. You were the one on academic probation because you spent senior year chasing after some college freshman. What was his name again? Mint socks?”

“You’re just jealous because I have a hot older boyfriend now.”

“I’m honestly more worried for _him_ than anything. If only he knew what he was getting himself into.”

“And it’s this _caring_ personality I’m gonna miss most next year. You idiots better visit me at some point or I’m officially terminating this friendship _._ ” Jongdae said with a smile.

Baekhyun opened his mouth to say something, but his words died in his throat when Sehun came rushing behind him, enveloping the small boy in a hug and lifting him off the ground, twirling him in a circle as the small boy laughed in glee, frantically patting his boyfriend’s arm to get him to put him down.

The smile on Chanyeol’s face began to fade, a bitter taste in his mouth as Sehun put the small boy down, swooping in for a chaste peck on the lips. A smile formed on Baekhyun’s lips, a dazzling smile that Chanyeol once hoped was reserved only for him, now directed at Sehun. _His boyfriend._

The giant locks his jaw, though he knows he has no right to be upset. But his best friend is standing there, looking as beautiful as he did the first day they met. A hand was snaked around his waist, and Chanyeol hates that it doesn’t belong to him. His best friend was smiling brightly and Chanyeol hates that it wasn’t meant for him.

His best friend was in love and Chanyeol hates that it isn’t with him. 

~~~~~

The next few days are silent.

Chanyeol, still unreasonably miffed by what had happened on their graduation day, was becoming a bit more distant. He brushed it off as the exhaustion of his final year finally catching up to him to anyone that asked about it, but his closest friends knew why he was really like this.

Well, his closest friends except for Baekhyun.

Chanyeol honestly hated how much of an influence his best friend could have on him sometimes. His heart ached with longing, but Baekhyun was happy and he’d have to content himself with that.

It takes about a week of lonely sulking before Chanyeol hears a knock on his door, going to answer it wrapped up in his blankets, not paying mind to how it would look to a stranger seeing a teenage boy in need of a shower, cocooned in his unwashed sheets. With disinterest, he flings the door open, ready to deal with whoever was there so he could crawl back into bed, but any words he had died in his throat as he saw the face of his best friend.

“Baek-“

“Where have you been all week?” Baekhyun asked impatiently, a frown on his face. “You’ve been acting weird since grad.”

“No I haven’t.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Yoda. I know for a fact you’ve been weird since then because that’s the last time I’ve heard from you!”

“I’ve been, uh…”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, nudging past his friend and walking further into the boy’s home as if it were his own, which it essentially was at this point in their friendship. He flings the door to Chanyeol’s room open, sighing when he sees the giant’s blackout curtains pulled over the window, shrouding the whole room in darkness. He walks over to the window just as Chanyeol catches up to him, standing in the doorway as Baekhyun flings the curtain off to the side, Chanyeol wincing when the sunlight bathed the room.

“It’s just sunlight, you dumb giant. Grow up,” Baekhyun said at the sight, opening his window. “Lord knows you probably need it anyways.”

  
“You disappear for a week just to hole up in your room,” Baekhyun mutters under his breath, leaning over to pick up empty bags of chips and half drunken water bottles off the floor. “Who knows how long it would’ve been until you saw someone if I didn’t come over.”

Chanyeol stands like a child being scolded by his mother with his hands clasped together in front of him as he stared at his feet while Baekhyun continued cleaning up after him. After so many years of friendship, he knows better than to disturb the boy while he’s like this.

“I keep telling you to use a reusable bottle instead of halfway drinking ten plastic water bottles, why don’t you ever listen to me?” Baekhyun continues muttering, arranging the bottles on Chanyeol’s desk before going around to pick up stray articles of clothing. “How much worse would it have gotten if I didn’t show up?”

Chanyeol remained silent, picking at his fingers as his small friend cleaned up after him.

It takes several more minutes before the room is in a significantly cleaner state than it had been before Baekhyun had entered it, the small boy taking a deep breath before seating himself on Chanyeol’s chair as the giant walked in with awkward steps, feeling uncomfortable in his own home. He takes a careful seat on his bed, tucking his legs under him and holding onto the nearest pillow as Baekhyun watched him.

The smaller boy, now visibly less agitated, let out a soft sigh at his friend. “Will you please tell me what’s wrong, Yeol? Did something happen? Did I do something?”

_You got a boyfriend and left me behind._ Chanyeol thought, but he knew it was too selfish of him to voice it to his friend. No matter how long they’ve known one another, no matter how long they’ve spent together, at the end of the day, Chanyeol knows that Baekhyun doesn’t owe him his romantic affection, no matter how much Chanyeol craves the reciprocation of his feelings.

“I guess university stress is just kicking in,” Chanyeol half-lied. “Now that high school’s over, it suddenly feels like it’s really happening. Everything is moving so fast and I don’t know if I’m ready.” 

Baekhyun let out a soft breath. If he knew his friend wasn’t telling him the whole truth, he certainly didn’t make a show of it.

“You ignored my calls and texts for _that?”_ he asked, tone gentle. “I’m scared too, Chanyeol. We all are. But it’s another adventure we’re gonna have together, Yeol.”

Chanyeol lets out a small laugh. “Our adventures are almost always terrible.”

The small boy smiled back. “But we wouldn’t be the same without them. We wouldn’t be the same without each other. They might suck sometimes, but I’m still excited to go on this adventure with you.”

The giant looked over at his friend with a smile, praying that the heat he could feel rising to his face wasn’t visible. It wasn’t the response he was expecting, but it made his heart beat a little faster nonetheless.

Baekhyun got to his feet, digging through his pockets before taking a seat on the bed next to Chanyeol.

“I was saving this for something special, but…” Baekhyun began, pulling something out from his pocket. “Who else is more special than my best friend?”

He hovered his hand in the air, shaking it a bit in an attempt to prompt Chanyeol to move faster, leaving his hand hanging until Chanyeol supplemented his below. Baekhyun smiled as he opened his hand, leaving nothing but a small rock onto the giant’s palm. It couldn’t have been much larger than his thumbnail, but it sparkled in such a captivating way, the sunlight in the room making it shine a bright red with the tilt of his hand.

“This is the most special rock I own. I keep it on me pretty much all the time, since it’s so small. It’s the last rock grandma gave me before… you know. She told me to save it for something special.”

Chanyeol’s gaze shot up from the rock to his best friend. “Baek, I can’t take this.”

“If there’s anyone I’d want to give this to, it’s you.”

The taller gave him an unsure look, but Baekhyun wrapped Chanyeol’s fingers around the stone. “Just promise me you’ll keep it safe, Yoda.”

After a moment of hesitation, the taller gave in, nodding to his friend as he slid the stone into his own pocket. Baekhyun smiled.

“That’s more like it.” Baekhyun said with a smile, giving Chanyeol’s head a soft pat before holding his scarred hand up. Chanyeol smiled, holding up his own scarred hand, and Baekhyun laces their fingers together.

“You and me till the end, Yeol.”


	3. i see your small and pretty hand

The end of summer finds Chanyeol moving into his dorm room, the space feeling large compared to the bedroom he had grown up in. It almost looked like a mirror was running down the length of the room, with a matching set of beds, dressers, and desks lining the opposite walls, save for the complete and utter mess Chanyeol had made of his side compared to the pristinely organized half belonging to his roommate- Kyungsoo, was it? The tall boy spent a fair amount of time worrying over the boy he had yet to meet- from the looks of it, the other boy seemed much cleaner than he was, and he’d rather not have the boy he’s spending the next year with constantly angry at him for keeping his half of the room a mess.

It takes moments after meeting Kyungsoo for the first time that he realized it wouldn’t be much of a problem.

It was while he was unpacking his things, long hair clipped back and out of his face, clothes ill-fitting and dishevelled on his large frame. Moving things around had kicked up dust in the room, and it had finally become too much for the giant, Chanyeol rearing back in a face-contorting sneeze when the door to his room clicked open.

He let out the monstrous sound just in time to see the wide eyes of a boy, flannel shirt tucked into his jeans, thick framed glasses perched on his nose, hands clutching the straps of his backpack. Chanyeol sniffled, trying to wipe his nose before another sneeze came over him, opening his mouth to say something when the small boy started laughing.

“I take it you’re Chanyeol?” he asked, tone friendly.

The giant nodded and the boy reached into his bag, producing a small package of tissues and handing it to the tall boy who graciously accepted them, rubbing furiously at his nose.

“I’m Kyungsoo.”

_“Ah…”_ he said, free hand moving to rub the back of his neck awkwardly as he quickly glanced back at the mess he had made of the floor. _“_ I swear I’m not usually this much of a mess—“

Kyungsoo only chuckled again, eyes raking over Chanyeol’s unorganized half of the room. “Uh huh…” he said unconvincingly.

“No really, I swear!” Chanyeol tried again, watching a grin grow on Kyungsoo’s face, words dying in his throat as he took in the sight of the boy’s heart shaped smile.

“Well, I just came to pick some stuff up,” Kyungsoo said with a good-natured chuckle, turning to his desk and putting some things into his backpack. “It was nice meeting you, Chanyeol.”

“I… uh- same.”

Kyungsoo waved to the boy as he retreated from the room, leaving the giant standing alone in the room, not entirely understanding what had just happened.

~~~~~

Though initially awkward around Kyungsoo, Chanyeol found himself warming up to the boy quickly. He doesn’t see as much of Baekhyun as he did in high school, but he supposes it might be for the better. He spent so much of his time chasing after someone who didn’t feel the same, and it was getting tiring.

He wants to move on, but when his heart has spent so long stuck on one person, it’s hard to get it to change.

When Baekhyun calls, Chanyeol still finds himself running to him.

The fact doesn’t go unnoticed by his new friends, most of them laughing whenever they saw the giant perk up like a puppy whenever he saw a sign of Baekhyun. Whether it be through text, being mentioned in conversation, or seeing him in passing between classes, Chanyeol’s eyes would light up without realizing it.

It takes Kyungsoo seconds within meeting Baekhyun for the first time to recognize the huge crush the giant harboured for him, watching his roommate melting into putty for the boy in front of him.

“You have a crush on him.” Kyungsoo said the minute Baekhyun was out of earshot. It wasn’t a question.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Chanyeol mutters.

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes and Chanyeol knew that his roommate was already onto him.

“Is it _that_ obvious?” he asked, deflating a bit.

“You perk up like a puppy every time you hear his name and your eyes sparkle whenever you talk to him. Frankly, I don’t see how he could miss it, unless he’s been pretending not to know these past few years.”

Chanyeol sighed. “It doesn’t really matter which it is at this point. He’s got a boyfriend, so even if he _did_ notice, I doubt I’d ever have a chance,” he said before the smile returned to his face, his hand grazing the familiar bump in his jean pocket where he kept the rock Baekhyun had given him. “It’s alright though. As long as I can be around him, I’ll be happy.”

Kyungsoo frowned. “I mean, I appreciate your optimism but damn man, you got it bad. Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?”

“It’s selfish,” Chanyeol said simply. “He’s happy in his relationship, and telling him how I feel won’t help anyone. He’ll still be dating his boyfriend, and things will get weird between us. I don’t want to do that to us. I don’t want to do that to him.”

The small boy frowned, but chose not to press on the topic any more for the sake of his tall friend’s comfort.

But despite the resignation in his tone, the longing was more than clear. 

~~~~~

The longer the year goes on, the more distant Baekhyun feels.

It’s not something Chanyeol could fault him on—the university workload proved to be much heavier than what either of them were used to, and between a flurry of last minute papers and cramming for exams, Chanyeol almost never sees his best friend.

And surprisingly, it hurts less than he thought it would.

There were always assignments to get done or tests to study for, and any free time Chanyeol got would be spent with his roommate, grabbing quick meals together in restaurants over campus after long study sessions or just lounging around their shared space, complaining about the people in their respective programs.

It gives Chanyeol a bit of a break, and for that he’s thankful.

But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss Baekhyun.

Despite everything, he’d still find himself daydreaming at times. Sometimes during class, sometimes during the night when sleep wouldn’t come easy to him— he’d see those droopy eyes and rectangular smile seared behind his eyelids and feel his heart rate pick up.

It almost feels surreal the next time Chanyeol sees Baekhyun again. After a whole semester with minimal conversation and even less time spent face to face, it felt almost strange to see the small boy again. It felt almost like they were nothing more than acquaintances.

But it’s when Baekhyun takes notice of the tall boy staring from a few tables away in their school’s library, squinted eyes suddenly sparkling in recognition as the pout on his face turned into a bright smile that Chanyeol’s cheeks reddened, legs moving towards the smaller on their own accord the moment Baekhyun waved him over.

The light brown locks he had started school with were now coloured a deep magenta, though the dark roots at the top of his head made it clear that this change was not new. His bangs had grown long, much longer than they should have; Chanyeol suspects the smaller boy was too preoccupied with school to get them trimmed, though the obnoxious hot pink hair clip pulling the hair out of his face proved to be a surprisingly good look on the small boy. The thick rimmed glasses that he kept throughout high school had suddenly changed to thin, round frames, unfamiliar, yet still flattering the boy’s features.

Chanyeol took a seat across Baekhyun as he placed his backpack on the round table, watching Baekhyun push the glasses higher up on his face, lips still pulled back in a wide smile.

“It’s been forever, Yoda!” Baekhyun whispered excitedly, staying mindful of where they were. “I’ve missed you.”

Chanyeol cursed his quickening heartbeat at that, lips pulling themselves into a smile. “I missed you too, Baek.” He said, tone much calmer than he felt.

“What’ve you been up to?” Baekhyun asked, almost popping up out of his seat out of excitement. Chanyeol chuckled at the sight of his friend, looking like a puppy who had gone too long without seeing their owner.

Chanyeol rubbed the nape of his neck. “Studying, studying, and more studying.”

“Emphasis on the _dying_ part, huh?” Baekhyun added with a laugh.

The tall boy joined in, leaning back in his chair. “Tell me about it. What have you been up to?”

Baekhyun smiled, leaning in over his notes. “I’ve basically been living in the school library since midterms, just drowning in a sea of formulas and proofs, but what else is new?”

“Do you have a lot of exams this semester?”

Baekhyun pursed his lips. “I have 6 in total, but I’ll be done by next week. What about you?”

“5, but I finished earlier today.”

The small boy’s eyes lit up for a moment. “You’re done already?” he asked, Chanyeol replying with an affirmative grunt. “Are you free for the rest of the day?”

“Uh, I was just gonna start clearing out my dorm room, but otherwise, yeah, I’m free.”

“Would you mind if I tagged along?” Baekhyun asked with a lopsided smile, continuing on before Chanyeol could get another word in. “It’s just that I’ve spent so much time cooped in this library studying for my comp-sci exams and we haven’t hung out in so long—if you have other things you need to do or something that’s fine too, but—“

“Baekhyun, you’re rambling,” Chanyeol cut in with a laugh, watching his friend shut his mouth at the mention. Chanyeol wonders for a moment when Baekhyun got so nervous talking to him. “Come on,” he says, grabbing his backpack off the table as the small boy gapes at him. “Let’s get going.”

He sees the expression on Baekhyun’s face turn to one of joy as he nodded, quickly packing up his things and putting them into his bag, zipping it up and slinging it over his shoulder. Chanyeol chuckles, hand already moving up to ruffle Baekhyun’s hair, only to stop mid-way. The giant felt his heart palpitate, realizing upon closer inspection that the hair clip on his friend’s head was the same hair clip that Chanyeol had jokingly gifted him years ago in middle school.

Baekhyun looked up at the tall boy, standing wordless as he looked atop the small boy’s head with surprised eyes, his hands moving up to touch his head in confusion before they grabbed the clip, releasing it from its place.

“I forgot I had that on.” Baekhyun said with a smile, maneuvering his backpack to get access to its zipper to put it away, already walking out of the library.

“You kept it… The hair clip.” Chanyeol said, collecting himself and following the small boy out.

The small boy looked back at the taller almost in confusion. “You still have yours, though, don’t you? Did you expect me to throw out our middle school couple item after you had so _graciously_ given it to me?”

“That was a gag gift at best. The old lady I bought it from thought I was trying to woo some girl at school—“ 

“Well, I was wooed by its practicality and the dashing good looks of the seventh-grade boy who presented it to me.”

Chanyeol felt a pang in his heart. “You don’t need to be nice to me, Byun. We both know that the seventh grade was a tragic time for everyone.”

“Speak for yourself, Yoda. I straight up _blossomed_ like a gorgeous fuckin’ _flower_ in the seventh grade.”

“The _seventh grade_ is when you _blossomed?”_ the taller asked in disbelief. “The _seventh grade,_ when you had red highlights and half a mullet?”

“Hey, I still stand by that decision.”

“Is that why you’re not cutting your hair now?” he asked with a ruffle of the small boy’s long bangs. “Tryna relive the glory days?”

Baekhyun shook the tall boy’s hand off his head, scrunching his nose a bit. “Sad as it is, I don’t think the world is ready for a mullet comeback.”

Chanyeol rolled his eyes, arm moving to hook around Baekhyun’s shoulder’s before he could even register it. He can feel the small boy naturally lean into it, and he smiles to himself. No matter how long they were separated, there was always a familiarity between them. They fall back into it, like they had never been separated to begin with.

The walk across campus to the residence building doesn’t take much longer, Chanyeol shouldering the door of his dorm room open after much struggle with the old lock.

“I’m back~” he calls out into the room, seeing his small roommate peek his head out from behind the open door of his dresser. “And I brought a friend.”

Kyungsoo tilts his head for a moment before Chanyeol takes a step in, giving Baekhyun room to enter the space as the two took their shoes off.

“Baekhyun! It’s nice seeing you again!” Kyungsoo says with a wide smile that the boy mirrored.

“It’s nice to see you too, Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun replies as he follows his friend further into the room, taking a seat on Chanyeol’s desk chair.

“I’ll get out of your hair soon, I was just getting changed to go meet Jongin.”

“How’s he doing? I haven’t seen him in a while.” Chanyeol asks, already throwing himself onto his bed.

His roommate smiled. “You know how it is. It’s just been non-stop practice for him. We should all hang out together once he’s done his showcase.”

“I forgot he was doing that. How’s practice going for him?”

“Tiring, but he’s having a good time. Are you going to see him perform? I’m sure I can grab the both of you some extra tickets if you haven’t gotten any yet.”

Baekhyun sits up in surprise. “Me too?” he asks in quiet confusion.

“Of course you too, Baekhyun. I’d love to have you meet Jongin!” Kyungsoo said before turning to Baekhyun in a lower tone. “Plus, I don’t trust Chanyeol to navigate anywhere on his own.”

“Hey, I’m a great navigator!” the tall boy cut in.

Kyungsoo raised a brow. “You once led me on a two hour hunt for a café that was just around the corner from our dorm.”

“That was one time! And we made it there in the end!”

The boy only rolled his eyes with a smile, grabbing his backpack off his own desk and slinging it over his shoulder. “Alright, Chanyeol,” he said non-committedly with a glance at his watch. “I’ll be heading out now anyways, so I’ll see you guys later. And if you get to packing up before I get back… just... promise me we’re not going to have a repeat of your spring cleaning fiasco.” Kyungsoo added as he slipped on his shoes, giving one final wave to the duo before leaving the room.

“Spring cleaning fiasco?” Baekhyun asks the minute the door shuts.

“Long story,” Chanyeol says, rolling around on the bed until he’s lying on his stomach, face buried in his pillow. “I thought some cleanup after midterms would be a good idea but it turns out I don’t actually know how to clean up. Ended up with a broken lock and a hole in the wall we covered up with a poster.”

Baekhyun laughed. “Sounds like you. So are you gonna get started on packing?”

“I don’t even need to officially move out until next month,” The tall boy groaned into his pillow. “It can wait.”

“What happened to cleaning out your stuff?”

“I only said that because I thought Kyungsoo was staying in here. He’s been bugging me to start cleaning up for weeks now.”

Baekhyun let out a breath, standing up and walking to the bed, grabbing the blankets and throwing them over Chanyeol in one smooth motion before taking a seat directly on his back, earning him a breathless grunt from the boy.

The boy’s gaze moved around the room as Chanyeol heaved below him, eyeing the mess of dirty clothes strewn across the giant’s half of the room, the desk an unorganized mess, almost like a small tornado had drifted across its surface. 

“Even if it’s not for Kyungsoo’s sake, you really should clean up. I don’t understand how you operate in this kind of a mess.” Baekhyun commented as the tall boy groaned in pain below him. The smaller chuckled, scooting his body off the giant, opting instead to lay next to him on the bed. Chanyeol flipped onto his back, taking a few dramatic gasps of air. “Calm it, drama queen.” 

“I didn’t think it was possible but you somehow gained _more_ weight.”

Baekhyun smacked the boy on his chest, the taller curling up a bit in feigned pain. “It’s no wonder you’re still single. How are you gonna woo cute boys if you’re so mean?”

A pregnant pause fills the room.

“You’re still here, aren’t you?” he asks softly, turning his head to face his small friend.

Baekhyun stayed silent for a moment, staring up at the ceiling. “Yeah,” he said, tone softer this time. “I guess I am.”

Chanyeol tried to search his eyes for something, _anything_ , but Baekhyun kept his gaze trained straight upwards. The tall boy’s eyes drifted down the smaller’s profile, stopping at his slightly parted lips. The small boy slowly turned his head to face Chanyeol, the taller’s eyes drifting back up to meet Baekhyun’s. His breath hitched, and he prayed it wasn’t loud enough for the smaller to hear it, but with their proximity, it was almost certain he did.

Chanyeol could’ve sworn he saw the small boy’s eyes flit down to his own lips for a split second, but before he knows it, those same droopy eyes are staring him down, almost as if he was asking him to make the first move.

The giant can hear his heart race in his ears, so quickly and so loudly he was afraid his best friend would be able to hear the sound.

He’s not sure how long they spend in that state, almost as if in a trance, almost as if they’re drowning in each other with neither willing to be the first to pull away from it, but the incessant buzzing of Baekhyun’s phone in his pocket breaks their concentration.

“It’s Sehun,” Baekhyun says, suddenly bolting up and onto his feet. “I should go take this.” He adds, awkwardly motioning towards the door. Chanyeol sits up with a tight lipped smile.

“Of course. Sehun awaits.”

Baekhyun almost looked flushed as he nodded, quickly putting on his shoes as he answered the call, slipping out of the door, leaving Chanyeol alone on the bed, still trying to register what had just happened.


	4. almost about to touch mine

Chanyeol gets the tickets to Jongin’s performance showcase a few days later, barely able to look Kyungsoo in the eyes when he tries to remind the giant to get the other ticket to Baekhyun.

The very mention of the smaller boy somehow flusters the giant even more than it had previously, leaving even Kyungsoo shocked at the sight.

Baekhyun had texted him after the incident occurred, speaking like it had never happened, but no matter how nonchalant his friend was staying, it wouldn’t calm the thundering he felt in his chest every time his mind went back to it.

The day of the showcase creeps up on Chanyeol, and before he knows it, he’s stood in front of his dresser’s full length mirror, checking his outfit is okay as Kyungsoo bids him a quick farewell, leaving early to meet Jongin backstage. 

Chanyeol frowned at his reflection, adjusting and readjusting his outfit, ruffling his hair endlessly, sighing as he gave up on trying to fix his appearance, instead choosing to plop onto his bed, stripped bare of its sheets.

In a flurry of mixed emotions and sleepless nights, he visited his sister at her apartment, sharing a few drinks with her in the quiet of the early morning, spilling out his feelings as he lay spread eagle on her floor. In a drunken stupor, she had made the executive decision to give him a makeover to try to boost his confidence, and he left the next morning with a head-splitting headache, hair dyed a dark silver, and a bag full of her boyfriend’s clothes to borrow.

He felt weird.

The clothes he had on were far from what he would normally wear, and despite it flattering his body, he didn’t feel like he had the confidence to wear it out in public. He had wondered for a moment if he should change, but most of his clothes were either back in his parent’s home, or packed away in boxes meant to be brought back soon.

There wasn’t much of a choice in terms of changing his clothes.

Chanyeol was all soft oversized sweaters and unkempt hair, and the sight of him in a leather jacket with his hair styled up and out of his face felt… weird.

He frowned at the ceiling, barely registering the sound of knocking on his door until it became almost incessant.

“It’s open.” He calls, hearing the old door creak open. He and Kyungsoo had spent half the year putting off calling the residence services to get that door oiled, and a strange part of him would miss that sound once he moved out.

“You weren’t answering my texts so I figured I’d just come to you.” Baekhyun’s voice called, causing Chanyeol to sit up in surprise.

Any words that were on Baekhyun’s lips died in his throat as he stared the giant down, the tall boy suddenly remembering how he looked.

“I- uh… Yoora- She uh-“ he stuttered out, gesturing awkwardly to himself. “It wasn’t my idea.”

Chanyeol swears he can see Baekhyun’s Adam’s apple bob for a second. “It looks good,” Baekhyun says with a smile, “You look good, Yoda.”

And the giant can feel those butterflies in his stomach again, suddenly much less self-conscious about his appearance. Baekhyun comes closer, standing directly in front of the giant on his bed, his hand going up to the seated boy’s forehead, brushing back any stray hairs.

“You should wear your hair like this more often,” he says, hand lingering a bit too long before he returned it to his side. “We should head out soon if we don’t wanna be late.”

Chanyeol blinks a few times before nodding dumbly, standing up to follow his friend who had already made his way to the door.

The performance hall isn’t far from Chanyeol’s residence and the pair make it to their destination within a matter of minutes. They say very little on the way—a rare occurrence for the duo, but there’s a strange sort of tension present, though Chanyeol isn’t sure whether or not he’s the only one feeling that way.

It felt like there was too much being left unsaid, but he lacked the courage to bring it up to his friend, opting instead to maintain the silence. Being the bolder of the two, if there was truly something wrong, Baekhyun would most likely bring it up first.

But they arrive without issue, leaving Chanyeol to wonder if he had truly just read too much into their encounter several days ago.

A line had already formed outside of the venue to the giant’s surprise. Baekhyun exhales a bit, sticking his hands in the pocket of his hoodie as he rocked on the balls of his feet.

“It’s easy to forget how big of a deal Jongin is on campus,” Baekhyun murmured. “It’s a little disorienting.”

“Is he really that popular?” Chanyeol asked, peeking his head out of line to see how far it stretched. Baekhyun scoffed.

“He basically has his own fan club. Don’t you hang out with him all the time? How have you never noticed?”

Chanyeol’s lips formed into an ‘o’ for a moment. “That… explains so much. I always wondered why people kept taking pictures of us whenever we hung out, but I just figured my dashing good looks were finally being noticed.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, a smile playing on his lips as he playfully shoved the tall boy’s shoulder back. “You’re so dumb.” He murmured.

“But in a cool, _sexy_ kinda way, right?”

The small boy only hit his friend’s shoulder again, the tall boy recoiling in mocked pain for a moment.

It doesn’t take long for them to enter the venue, directed towards their seats, the auditorium already bustling with the excited chatter. They shuffle down the rows, narrowly avoiding a few excited girls whispering to each other as they look at the tall boy, making his cheeks go red.

Baekhyun chuckles. “Maybe you really are dumb in a cool, _sexy_ kinda way.”

“Shut up…” Chanyeol muttered, eyes going down to his feet as he followed the small boy to their seats.

“Should I let them know you’re single? I can be a pretty good wingman~”

The tall boy glared weakly at his small friend, who only gave him a warm smile, reaching for the giant’s hand this time.

“Or maybe I can play boyfriend for the night. Make sure they don’t come begging for your number after the show.”

Chanyeol gulped, wondering if the reddening of Baekhyun’s ears had been his own imagination or not.

He finds it doesn’t matter, not when he hears the boy’s soft laughter as he releases his hand from Chanyeol’s, taking his seat near the stage. It takes the giant a moment to register what had happened, following after his smaller friend and taking a quick seat, trying to ignore his quickening heartbeat.

“Kyungsoo really got us some good seats, huh?” Baekhyun murmured, glancing around at the rest of the auditorium, slowly being filled with people.

“I guess those are the perks of dating the school’s heartthrob,” Chanyeol said with a chuckle. “It must be nice.” 

They settle into a comfortable silence as the auditorium grows louder and louder until its seats are filled and the lights dim, a hush falling over the crowd as soft music began to play. Chanyeol shifted in his seat, sitting up a bit taller as the large stage curtains were drawn to reveal a girl he couldn’t quite place— he assumed it must have been someone in Jongin’s program.

She moved with grace and elegance, making it from one side of the stage to the other in a matter of strides, twirling and twisting all the way over.

Chanyeol would be lying if he said he had any idea of what constituted a good dancer, but he was enjoying his time watching the performance nonetheless, smiling as more entered the stage, joining in on her movements.

It took mere moments before the entire stage was covered in students, moving in coordinated lines and groups until it was almost difficult to focus on a single dancer. At the fever pitch of the music, they slowed to a stop, the stage lights dimming as the students parted down the middle, revealing two figures standing in the centre, silhouetted by the lighting.

Deafening cheers sounded, and the squint of the giant’s eyes identified one of the figures as his friend, though the other remained unknown.

He turned to Baekhyun for a moment, the smaller boy sitting with his mouth agape. It’s with that sight that Chanyeol whipped his head back to the stage just in time to see a spotlight fall upon the pair, none other than Kim Jongin and Oh Sehun.

The giant gulps, but despite the sinking feeling in his stomach, he can’t look away. The rest of the students had cleared the stage by this point, leaving only the two to occupy the entire space, though the mere sight of the two just standing there, eyes trained on each other made it feel anything but. And when they began moving, the crowd cheered almost impossibly louder as the pair move in almost perfect sync, as if they were a single entity.

They commanded the attention of the crowd, the spectators on the edge of their seats, almost reluctant to blink in fear of missing even a moment. 

It feels like seconds that the two dance together, the moment gone before Chanyeol can really register it, and the stage is flooded by students again, the pair disappearing in the waves until the stage is occupied by another performer.

Chanyeol feels like he’s in a daze by the time that the performance is finished, each of the performers coming to give a final bow. Jongin and Sehun enter the stage together, sharing a smile before bowing deeply as the crowd goes wild. As they stand upright again, Chanyeol can see Sehun give Baekhyun a small wave before disappearing back into the ensemble as the next few performers come up to the front to give their thanks to the crowd.

The curtains close on the stage not much later and as the audience begins filing out of their rows, Chanyeol can feel a soft tug on his sleeve, surprised to see his roommate appearing almost out of thin air.

“They’re waiting for us backstage,” Kyungsoo said, just loud enough to be heard in the noise of the auditorium. “Come on, follow me.”

The giant nods, but not before tugging on Baekhyun’s sleeve to make sure he’s following. They take careful steps down the wide steps of the theatre until they find a door, obscured from the seated area. Kyungsoo shoulders the door open, leading the pair down the dark paths like he knew them like the back of his hand— though the giant supposes that he would be familiar with the venue considering how much time he spent there with Jongin.

They reach the green room quickly, Chanyeol taking in the large space filled with performers changing out of their stage outfits. Kyungsoo wastes no time in making a beeline straight to his boyfriend, throwing his arms around the taller boy’s waist as Jongin laughs, holding his shirt in one hand as the other winds around Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol smiles as he follows his friend.

“Yeol!” Jongin called as he took notice of the tall boy, “I’m glad you made it!”

“Wouldn’t have missed it for the world, Jongin. You did amazing!”

The dancer cast his gaze down with a bashful smile. “Aw, you don’t have to say that-“

“No, really! It was amazing watching you dance, I can’t believe I’ve known you this whole year without knowing how talented you are!”

Jongin laughs and Kyungsoo nuzzles into his side a little more. “I’m proud of you.” Chanyeol can hear the smaller boy say softly, turning to give the two a little bit of privacy. He turns to say something to Baekhyun, but finds the boy searching the room, almost like he’s lost. But a sparkle appears in his eyes, Chanyeol following the small boy’s gaze to see Sehun coming towards them.

Baekhyun smiled, closing the distance between the two and throwing his arms around the boy’s shoulders, Sehun pulling him close and leaving a peck on his head.

“I thought you were still out of town! Why didn’t you tell me you were gonna be performing here?” Baekhyun asked as he pulled away, large smile on his face.

Sehun smiled back, lifting a hand to brush against the small boy’s cheek. “My school’s dance program organized a special project in collaboration with your school’s program, and I got the opportunity to join. I was gonna tell you, but I heard you already got tickets from Jongin, so I wanted to keep it a surprise.”

“You did amazing!” Baekhyun exclaimed, going back for another hug, Sehun readily embracing him back.

Chanyeol stood awkwardly in the middle of the two couples, feeling increasingly out of place in the room. Jongin smiles sympathetically.

“It’ll take a bit for us to finish packing up,” Jongin said as Kyungsoo finally unwound himself from around his waist, “How about you guys wait outside and we’ll meet you guys out there when we’re done? We can all go grab dinner together.”

Kyungsoo and Jongin exchange a quick look before the smaller grabs onto Chanyeol’s arm. “We’ll meet you outside in a bit, Baekhyun. Chanyeol was bugging me about needing the washroom so I’ll just take him really quick.” He said quickly, dragging his friend out and further down the hallway they had entered from.

“How did you never mention that _Sehun_ was the one Baekhyun was dating?” Kyungsoo whispered furiously as they took brisk steps further down the corridor.

“I didn’t think your paths would’ve ever crossed!” Chanyeol whispered back. “He goes to school on the other side of town, the odds weren’t exactly in your favour!”

Kyungsoo sighed, stretching out his neck to make sure the hallway was still empty.

“Are you gonna be alright with him coming to dinner with us? I can tell them you weren’t feeling well if you want to go home early.”

Chanyeol shook his head. “It’s Jongin’s big day, I want to be there to celebrate it with him. Even if that means sitting through a meal with Sehun.”

There’s a pregnant pause between the two for a moment as Kyungsoo pressed his lips in a tight line, almost as if he had a bitter taste in his mouth.

“You know, he’s actually a really cool guy, once you get to know him,” the shorter boy said. “I think you guys could have become really good friends, if things were a little different.”

Chanyeol opened his mouth to speak, but found no words to say, standing silently as Kyungsoo began walking away, not waiting for his friend to follow.

By the time the giant reacts, the small boy is already out of sight.

~~~~~

Chanyeol leaves the building after a few moments, retracing his steps to find everyone huddled together at the front doors of the auditorium.

The walk to the restaurant is a short one, the group deciding to eat at a local barbeque restaurant that Chanyeol and Kyungsoo frequented over their year of living together. They settled into a large table, placing their order as Chanyeol shifted around uncomfortably in his seat.

He sat almost directly across from Sehun, the tall boy making quick eye contact before looking away, looking almost as uncomfortable as Chanyeol felt. He sees Baekhyun shift from his place next to Sehun, scooting a bit closer to Kyungsoo seated next to him, striking up conversation with the boy and his boyfriend.

Chanyeol cleared his throat. “So, uh… Are you a performance major too?” he asked Sehun, who appeared to be surprised by the sudden question.

Sehun blinked a few times before shaking his head. “I’m, uh, actually studying psychology.”

“Oh.”

There was a pause between them.

“So how did you end up at the showcase?”

  
“I took a dance course first semester and I got recommended for the performance by my prof.”

“Oh. You must have been pretty good then.”

“Yeah, I’ve been dancing since I was little.”

“I see.”

“So… what are you majoring in?” Sehun asked after a few moments.

“I’m studying economics.”

Silence fell between the two again, the two of them still looking as uncomfortable as ever.

The waiter returned to their table as the pair avoided eye contact, putting down bottles of beer and plates of meat. Jongin reached over Chanyeol, grabbing a beer and popping off its lid before handing it to him.

“Loosen up a bit,” Jongin said softly so only Chanyeol could hear. “You look like you’re sitting through a bad interview.”

Chanyeol squinted at his friend, but took the bottle nonetheless, taking a sip.

It took a while before Chanyeol could relax, still feeling tense into his third beer. But as he felt the warmth settle to the pit of his stomach and his cheeks start to warm, his quiet demeanour for the night suddenly fizzling out in favour of boisterous laughs and a few heavy-handed slaps to Jongin’s side.

He’s not sure if it’s the alcohol clouding his system, but he thinks he sees Sehun loosen up too. He knows he’s never been close to Sehun— after all, his interactions had been limited to passing glances in the halls throughout high school and the occasional forced pleasantries exchanged whenever they met because of Baekhyun.

But even Chanyeol knows there’s something different about Sehun now than the Sehun he’s known for years.

He’s only ever known Sehun as a stoic, straight faced statue, and as stupid as it sounds, the sight of the boy smiling seemed… weird. 

It almost seemed foreign to Chanyeol. Like he was meeting Sehun for the first time.

And honestly, it might as well have been the first time.

The sight of the tall boy throwing his head back in an uproarious laugh, hands clapping as he threw his body back against his chair— it pulled the corners of Chanyeol’s mouth up until he was doing the same.

He wonders for a moment when Sehun had changed, if he had ever even changed at all. Had this been the Sehun that Chanyeol had known of all this time?

But his attention shifts for a moment, and he sees Baekhyun. But for once, he’s not looking at Sehun. Baekhyun’s gaze is trained right… at _him._

Looking at Chanyeol like he was his whole world, a soft smile on his lips as he watches with a warm gaze. But as soon as it had happened, it had stopped. And Baekhyun’s attention shifted back to Sehun and Chanyeol can feel something ugly blooming in his chest again.

The giant frowns before grabbing another bottle of beer, taking a swing until the feeling was replaced with more warmth.

He clears bottles of beer like they’re water, until Jongin is laughing, swatting Chanyeol’s hand every time it dared get close to any more bottles. The giant gives the boy a weak glare, which only causes his other friends to laugh at the sight, and without really knowing why, Chanyeol laughs too.

He feels light. The lightest he’s felt in a while.

For the first time in too long, it felt like he was free.

He wasn’t sure from what, but the elation in his heart from sharing a night with some of his closest friends in celebration, from being able to breathe again without the stress of school, from being so _unburdened_.

But when he sees Sehun standing, bidding the rest of the table an apologetic goodbye (something about needing to be somewhere the next morning), sees Baekhyun follow him to see him out, he remembers that he wasn’t unburdened.

He remembers that there was something weighing on his heart when he catches a glimpse of the pair outside the restaurant. A taxi slows to a stop and Sehun embraces Baekhyun with a warm hug before pulling back slightly to press a chaste kiss on his cheek. The small boy beams, watching as his boyfriend boarded the car, watching as it disappeared out of his sight before returning inside.

He hates how it makes him feel, hates how long he’s gone keeping it all to himself.

He just wants the feeling to stop.

It had been years of unrequited love for his best friend, and Chanyeol is ready to make the feeling stop.


	5. it tickles my heart

Dinner ends as the night grows deeper, the group ready to pay the bill only to find out that Sehun had covered it on his way out, asking the waiter to pass on his congratulations on a job well done.

The four leave the restaurant, pleasantly warm despite the night air feeling rather chilly. Jongin’s arm was slung over Kyungsoo’s waist, pulling him close as the four of them stood by the street.

“Thanks again for coming, guys. I really do appreciate it.” Jongin said with a smile.

“Thanks for getting us tickets,” Baekhyun said with a laugh. “It really was amazing seeing you perform.”

Kyungsoo smiled in pride, tilting his head up to press a kiss onto his boyfriend’s cheek.

“I keep telling him, but he never listens to me,” Kyungsoo said. “Says I’m ‘biased’ or something.”

“Obviously you’re biased, you compliment me because you love me.”

“I can love you and give you compliments separately!”

Jongin shook his head, but the smile stayed on his face. “It’s getting late, so we should get going. You guys make it back home safely, alright?”

“Hey, Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo called. “I’m heading back to Jongin’s tonight, so Chanyeol here is on his own. Would you mind making sure he gets back safely?” he asks, voice lowering a bit. “He’s normally not bad with alcohol, but he’s had a bit more than he usually does so I’m worried he’ll end up passed out on the streets or something.”

Chanyeol narrowed his eyes. “I’m not _that_ drunk.” He muttered.

“Anyways,” Kyungsoo continued, ignoring the giant. “My bed’ll be empty, you can just stay over at our dorm for the night if you’d like.”

“I’ll see to it that he gets back safely,” Baekhyun said with a smile. “I’ll see you guys around then?”

“Of course. Text us when you make it back, alright?”

~~~~~

Surprisingly, it doesn’t take much longer for the two to make it to the dorms as they would have expected, though this was probably more of a testament to how often Chanyeol had gone to and from the restaurant over the semester than it was his navigational ability.

Baekhyun stops in front of the door to his room, waiting for Chanyeol to produce a key, but the giant just steps forward, haphazardly slamming against the door and staggering in once the door flew open.

“Do you always keep your door unlocked?” Baekhyun asked in concern, following Chanyeol in.

“Doesn’t matter. I can’t even get in when I wanna get in and there’s nothing to steal in here anyways,” Chanyeol slurred as he walked towards his bed, not even bothering to take off his shoes.

Baekhyun sighed as Chanyeol threw his upper body onto the mattress to lie face down, the small boy taking the chance to remove the giant’s shoes for him.

“You’re such a big baby,” he murmured, placing the shoes at the foot of his bed before taking a seat on the floor, back leaned against Kyungsoo’s bed. He let out a soft breath, head lolling back until he was staring up at the ceiling.

“Are you staying for the night?” Chanyeol asked into his mattress, muffled but loud enough in the silent room for Baekhyun to hear.

“Probably. It’s well past midnight and I really don’t want to walk across campus to get to my dorm. I’d rather not be alone tonight, anyways.”

Chanyeol pulls his upper body away from the mattress, the sudden movement sending his head spinning for a moment until he shook the spots out of his vision. He glanced over at Baekhyun before murmuring a soft, “We haven’t had a sleepover together since we were sixteen. Back before…”

_‘You started dating Sehun_ ’ hung in the air between them, but remained unspoken. Chanyeol felt a strange amount of tension and he wondered for a moment if Baekhyun felt it too.

“Things got weird back then, didn’t they?” Baekhyun murmured. “It feels like so long ago.”

“Sometimes I wish that things would be like they used to.”

“Back when I used to get you to stay up all night with me playing video games?”

“Back when it was us against the world.”

Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol, brows furrowed. “I don’t… What are you trying to say, Chanyeol?”

The tall boy let out a sigh, letting himself fall back against the bed. “I don’t know. I was dumb back then. I’m dumb now. I just want to change things.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s selfish. I’ve been selfish. I don’t want to be anymore, but it’s hard. I’m sorry I couldn’t realize it earlier.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Chanyeol.”

He looked over at Baekhyun, almond eyes staring him down as the moonlight poured in from the window between the beds, making him look ethereal in the light. Chanyeol lets out a breath before climbing down from his bed, sitting across from the small boy, their knees knocking as the giant tried to seat himself comfortably in the small space.

Baekhyun tucked his legs to his chest to make it easier for the giant to settle down, sitting cross-legged with his arms settled against his ankles. Chanyeol leans forward, rosy red cheeks on display, his mind still spinning.

“I do need to apologize to you, Baekhyun. Because every time I see you, my heart skips a beat and when you talk to me, all that’s on my mind is how much I love you. Even when you’re yelling at me, it’s all I can think about.”

Baekhyun blinks a few times and his expression soured but Chanyeol leans forward, feeling lighter than he had before.

“You’re beautiful. You’re smart. You’re talented,” Chanyeol tries again, almost as if he was worried that he hadn’t made his point, as if he was worried Baekhyun was unaware of the fact.

The smaller boy looks away, lips pressed into a tight line.

“You’re—“ Chanyeol begins, ready to speak his praises as many times as he needed to for the smaller boy to believe it, but Baekhyun is faster this time.

“You don’t know what you’re saying, Chanyeol.”

The giant’s brows furrow in confusion for a moment. He’d never been surer of anything in his life.

Baekhyun shakes his head with a humourless laugh as he stood to his feet. “Maybe I _should_ go. I’ll tell Kyungsoo you made it back safely.”

Without thinking, Chanyeol leans forward, wrapping his hand around Baekhyun’s wrist as the boy turned to face the door.

“Don’t go,” he said, pulling his hand away when he realized how harsh his movements had been. “Please.”

“You’re drunk, Yoda. Go to sleep,” Baekhyun said softly, still staring at the door.

“I don’t want to sleep. I want _you_.”

There was a pregnant pause in the room before Baekhyun let out a shaky breath. “This isn’t fair, Chanyeol,” he said, barely above a whisper.

The giant frowns. “I don’t…”

“You can’t keep doing this to me,” Baekhyun says, tone sounding so painfully resigned. “You’ve been doing this since we were kids, and I’m so tired of it.”

“Baek…” Chanyeol murmurs, and he swears for a moment he’s hearing things when his ears catch the sound of Baekhyun inhaling sharply. His hand goes back to the boy’s hand giving it a soft tug. “Baekhyun, please come back.”

It takes a few moments for the boy to move, though it felt more like hours to the giant. Baekhyun turns slowly, his eyes trained on the ground, unable to look at Chanyeol.

“Talk to me, Baek. Is there something wrong?” Chanyeol asked softly.

Baekhyun scrunched his eyes closed, shaking his head. “It’s—I’m being stupid. It doesn’t matter. Just go to sleep Chanyeol. Pretend this didn’t happen.”

Chanyeol’s frown deepens. “I can’t pretend it didn’t happen Baekhyun, you’re not happy.”

“Who said I wasn’t happy?” Baekhyun murmured, too tired to even bother forcing a smile. Even with Chanyeol a few drinks past tipsy, they both knew he wouldn’t believe a lie like that.

“Why aren’t you happy?” he asks, giving Baekhyun’s arm a few gentle tugs until he’s coerced him to sit back across from him. The small boy immediately tucks his knees to his chest, fiddling with his fingers.

“I don’t know…” he says. “I should be happy, but I’m not. I love my classes, I love my friends… I have Sehun, I have Jongdae…”

“You have me.”

Baekhyun bites his lip.

“You’ll always have me, Baek. Even if we grow apart, even if you don’t want me anymore… You’ll always have me.”

“Stop it, Chanyeol.”

“I’m telling you the truth. My thoughts, my heart, my everything. They’re all yours. They always have been.”

Tears well up in Baekhyun’s eyes and the sight prompts Chanyeol to cup the small boy’s cheeks to wipe them away, but Baekhyun pulls the taller’s hand away before he can get the chance.

“Every single time I think I’m past this, you come back and start raising my hopes again, and it’s just not fair, Chanyeol.” 

“What do you mean?” Chanyeol asked, feeling his heart rate pick up a bit.

“Please don’t do this to me right now.”

“What do you mean by raising your hopes, Baekhyun?” he asked again, feeling bad for pressuring the small boy but still chasing after his answer.

“Are you really gonna make me say it? This is just plain mean, Chanyeol.”

“Please, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol said, desperation leaking into his voice. “If it’s the last thing I ever ask of you, please, tell me what you mean.”

“Are you just dense, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asked with a humourless laugh. “Because you can’t _possibly_ tell me that you haven’t picked up on almost an entire life’s worth of this stupid crush I’ve had on you.”

The taller blinked, unsure if he had heard the small boy correctly.

“And I know it’s terrible for me to even say that when I have Sehun, and I love him _so_ much and I _know_ I love him, but why am I still feeling like this?” he lets out a soft breath. “Why do you keep doing this to me?”

Baekhyun sounds frustrated, carding a hand through his hair, almost looking like he was ready to tug a handful out with the roughness of the action.

Thoughts race through Chanyeol’s foggy brain, moving a mile a minute as he tries to figure out what to do. He shifts in his seat, feeling the rock he had kept on his person since they graduated high school. He reaches into his pocket, pulling it out and presenting it to Baekhyun on his palm.

The small boy looked up to see what the giant was doing, the frustration in his eyes melting away in an instant, replaced with a moment of calm, almost as if by magic.

“You still have it?” Baekhyun asked, shocked by the sight of his grandmother’s rock, sparkling in the moonlight. 

“I have a wish. And if I wish on this, it’ll come true, right? Promise me you’ll make it come true.”

“I can’t do that Chanyeol,” Baekhyun said weakly.

The giant ignored him, closing his eyes and closing his hand around the stone, holding it close to his heart. “I wish for you to be happy.”

“Chanyeol…”

“I love you, Baek, and I just want you to be happy,” the giant took in a breath before speaking again. “Even if it’s not with me.”

“I…”

“I don’t care who you date at the end of the day Baek, even if it’s stupid Sehun with his stupid pretty laugh and stupid nice body,” Chanyeol says, inducing a breathy laugh from Baekhyun— a sound that was sorely missed since their conversation had started. The sound only made Chanyeol smile as he continued through the lump in his throat. “I just want you to be happy.”

The tears are forming in Baekhyun’s eyes again, and though Chanyeol wants to wipe them away, he holds himself back.

“But I’m happiest when I’m with you, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun said, voice shaky and barely audible, but with the silence of the room, he might as well have shouted it.

The giant feels his heart ache, shaking his head softly. “You don’t need to say that, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun shakes his head back, absentmindedly wiping his eyes. “I’m not just saying it, Chanyeol. You make me the happiest.”

Even from childhood, it was rare that Baekhyun ever initiated physical contact with Chanyeol. He was always a touchy person, but most times, it was Chanyeol who reached for his hand first, it was Chanyeol who wanted to get closer.

But now, Baekhyun is holding out his scarred hand for Chanyeol’s, waiting patiently as the giant produces his hand. Instead of holding it, Baekhyun’s fingers ghost over the scar’s length, from the centre of his palm to the wrist, feeling the way it made Chanyeol shiver. Baekhyun intertwined their scarred hands, giving the giant a gentle squeeze before pulling away with a sigh.

“You should go to sleep,” Baekhyun said softly. “I’ll head out.”

“You don’t need to leave. You can stay here. You can stay with me.“

The smaller hesitates for a moment, but shakes his head. “I shouldn’t. It’s been a long night, Yeol. I need some time to be alone.”

Chanyeol wants to say something, anything, but before he can fully react, Baekhyun is walking out the door, giving him one last look before the door closes behind him, leaving Chanyeol alone in the room with his head spinning and his heart beating out of his chest.


	6. and it feels like i'm floating above the clouds

It’s the last he hears of Baekhyun for a while.

In the time after, Chanyeol replays the night in his head over and over again, as if he were afraid to forget it. He couldn’t remember a single thing from the rest of the night, their confessions to each other being the only moment of clarity his tipsy brain could remember, would even want to remember.

But after a handful of weeks of radio silence from the small boy, Chanyeol begins to worry that he had made a mistake. 

He picks apart every last detail from that night, picking apart every last thing he said, every last thing that he did, beats himself up for the things he should have done better. He wants to regret what he did. He knew that if he had drunk less, if he had just gone to sleep once they made it back, none of this would have ever happened.

But he feels so light after getting it off his chest. Like he was done trying to hide a part of himself to the world.

He wants to regret what he did, but he can’t find it in himself to.

~~~~~

It takes almost a month and a half for Chanyeol to get a phone call, but it’s not the one he expected. There’s an unfamiliar number on the screen, and though Chanyeol often ignored unknown calls to his phone, something told him that this was a call he would want to pick up.

He could barely utter out a tentative _‘hello?’_ before a voice spoke on the other end.

_“Chanyeol, I need to talk to you.”_

The giant could feel his heart sink to the ground.

“S-Sehun? How did you get my number?”

_“Yeah, it’s me. Are you free?”_

“I, uh…” Chanyeol stuttered out, shocked by the boy’s directness. “Yeah, but—“

_“I’m headed to our high school. Meet me there in 15 minutes?”_

He hops to his feet, grabbing whatever clothes look the cleanest from his floor, giving a few a quick sniff. “Uh… yeah, sure.”

_“I’ll see you then.”_

The phone clicked as the other boy hung up, leaving Chanyeol to hurriedly get changed. He runs out the door as soon as he can, messing with the lock for a few moments before making his way down the familiar route to school.

The weather had been warming up recently, leaving Chanyeol sweating a bit as he hurried to make it back to their high school. There was a tinge in his heart as he went down the streets, almost nostalgic for the year that had passed them by, but he continued until he was almost skidding to a stop at the front gates of the school.

He looked around, sparing a glance at his watch to see that a little over 15 minutes had passed, but Sehun was nowhere to be seen. Chanyeol leaned over, letting himself catch his breath for a moment before straightening up again. The gates were wide open, but with the sun slowly setting, Chanyeol thought it safe to assume classes were done for the day. He took a few tentative steps in, jumping a bit when he saw Sehun leaning on the inside of the gate.

“You made it,” Sehun said, almost surprised. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

“I promised I would, didn’t I?” Chanyeol asked with a smile. Sehun chuckled softly to himself, hands tucked into his pockets.

_Jesus, even when he wasn’t trying, he looked like he was coming out of a photoshoot._

“I guess that’s true. Take a walk with me?”

The giant looked at him, puzzled, but when Sehun began walking towards the school, Chanyeol found himself following.

“Uh… not to be rude, but why did you call me out here exactly?”

Sehun sighed, walking into the school like he belonged there as Chanyeol trailed awkwardly behind him.

“Are we even allowed in here?”

“I come to visit all the time,” Sehun said, tone relaxed. “They’re used to seeing me here, they won’t say anything.”

Chanyeol nodded slowly, following the boy up, up, up the stairs until they reach the rooftop, Sehun producing the key to its door before shouldering it open.

“How did you get that?”

“I got it from one of the teachers a few years ago. He asked me to help him out with something and never asked for the key back.”

“I never would’ve guessed.”

“Well, we didn’t know very much about each other back then. We don’t know very much about each other _now.”_ Sehun said, gesturing for Chanyeol to step through the door. The giant gives him a reluctant look, but walks through nonetheless.

“I’m not gonna push you off the roof, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Sehun said, propping the door open with a wooden door stop on the floor near the doorframe. “I’m also not locking you up here. You might have a crush on my boyfriend, but that’s no reason for me to commit a possible crime.”

Chanyeol’s eyes widened. “You—“

Sehun smiled knowingly, walking past Chanyeol to the edge of the roof, resting his arms on the ledge as he looked out over the school grounds, bathed in a soft yellow light.

“You know, I had a crush on Baekhyun around the beginning of high school,” the boy began. “He was in my homeroom class and he just had the brightest smile. It took my breath away the first time I saw it.”

Sehun let out an airy chuckle.

“But whenever I wanted to talk to him outside of class, there you were. Like a tall, impenetrable wall. I figured you guys were already dating, and I wanted to give up my stupid crush before I got hurt, but you guys kept insisting there was nothing going on between the two of you.”

Chanyeol walks up to the boy, standing next to him and mimicking his stance, but Sehun’s gaze doesn’t waver.

“You were never mean to me, but once I confessed to Baekhyun, something changed. You’d glare at me in the halls, you’d spit my name out if you couldn’t avoid saying it, you’d look like you were ready to strangle me when I was eating lunch.”

“I’m sorry.” Chanyeol murmured, guilt pooling in his stomach. Sehun laughed again.

“It’s okay. We were younger then. I was ‘Sehun-the-Baekhyun-stealer’ before I was ‘Sehun-the-weird-nerdy-kid’ to you.” 

The boy hung his head for a moment, rubbing the nape of his neck before looking back up, a sad smile on his face.

“I should’ve known earlier that I’d never take up as much of Baekhyun’s heart as you did. Hell, maybe I did know earlier, but just didn’t want to face it.”

“I don’t take up more of his heart than you do, Sehun. Baekhyun’s dating _you,_ not me.”

“God, do I wish that were true. But you’re the one he wants to be with, Chanyeol. Not me.”

Chanyeol stares the boy down, searching for something, anything in his face that would suggest he’s lying, but all he sees in Sehun’s gaze is resignation.

“He’s been different since the day of the showcase. I know he brought you back to your dorm that night.”

“We didn’t—“

“I know you didn’t do anything. He left me paragraphs of texts telling me what happened. He didn’t say anything about a confession, but he didn’t need to,” Sehun let out a sigh. “When he was with me, it was like he wasn’t _with_ me anymore. It doesn’t take a genius for someone to figure out that you probably had something to do with it.”

“I’m sorry, Sehun,” Chanyeol said, hoping his tone sounded as genuinely apologetic as he felt. “I wasn’t thinking straight and everything just came tumbling out. I didn’t mean to ruin things between you two.”

“Honestly, it was a matter of time. I guess a part of me just wished he would’ve gotten over his crush on you. Maybe I was just asking too much.”

Sehun pushed himself away from the ledge, taking a few steps back as Chanyeol turned to face him.

“I ended things with him this morning.”

“You… What?”

“I met up with him this morning, we grabbed coffee, and I broke up with him. He looked so sad, but I could see there was relief in his eyes.”

“Why would you do that?”

Sehun smiled sadly again, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Because I love him, Chanyeol. I love him so _goddamn_ much, but I know he doesn’t love me. Not like that, anyways. And as much as it might hurt me, I just want him to be happy. It’s obvious I can’t do that for him the same way you can.”

Chanyeol stood there in shock for a moment as Sehun walked towards the door.

“It locks on its own, so just take out the door stop whenever you want to leave,” Sehun said before turning around one last time. “And do me a favour?”

“Anything.”

“Don’t mess this up, Chanyeol.”

~~~~~

The sky is dark and, despite the warmth of the day, the night is cold, but doesn’t stop Chanyeol from running as fast as his legs will take him.

His movements start out slow as he made his way out of the school, but his steps pick up without him noticing, going faster and faster until he’s sprinting down the path he had taken almost every day after school. He’s rounding every corner so sharply he was almost positive he was leaving small clouds of dust in his wake, but he can’t find time to care.

He needs to see Baekhyun.

His steps slow to a stop when he makes it to Baekhyun’s home. His legs feel like jelly, and he’s ready to collapse right there and then, but he walks up to the door, giving it a few hard raps. It takes a moment before he hears Baekhyun’s telltale footsteps scurrying to the door, swinging it open as his eyes widen in surprise.

“Chanyeol, I wasn’t expecting you—“

“Date me,” Chanyeol blurted out, chest still heaving from his run. “Please.”

Baekhyun blinks at him, taking a quick glance back into his home before slipping on his shoes, grabbing his keys, and stepping outside. Chanyeol watches, hands itching as Baekhyun locked the door after him, arms wrapped to his chest as he started walking away from his home, Chanyeol following after him like a puppy.

“Bold thing to say to someone who got broken up with this morning.” Baekhyun muttered, pulling his hoodie closer to his body. Despite the darkness, Chanyeol could tell it was an old one that Baekhyun had stolen from him years ago, and a smile forms on his face. They walk until they reach a small park not too far away. Baekhyun goes straight for the swings, not bothering to wait for his friend to follow before he’s off, swinging back and forth like he hadn’t a care in the world.

Chanyeol smiled, taking a seat on the empty swing next to him as Baekhyun played in silence. But after moments of silence passed, Chanyeol spoke again.

“Please date me, Baekhyun.” He said, voice clear and certain.

The small boy stopped kicking at the ground, letting himself slow until he was almost at a stop. He stared down at his feet with a sigh.

“I was really hoping you were too drunk to remember anything from that night.”

“I wasn’t that drunk, Baekhyun.”

“You were drunk enough to start saying nonsense.”

“That ‘nonsense’ was the truth, Byun. You’re the most beautiful person in the world. I don’t make the rules.”

Baekhyun sends him a weak glare and Chanyeol chuckles in response.

“What about you then? You barely drank, yet you confessed to me. What’s your excuse then?”

Even in the darkness, Chanyeol could see the smaller boy’s cheeks redden in embarrassment. “Shut up!”

The tall boy knocks his head against one of the chains holding him up, gentle smile on his face as he looked up at the sky, clearer than he had ever seen it.

“Still waiting on that answer, Baek.” Chanyeol said softly, looking over to his small friend, a sparkle in his eye.

Baekhyun looked back at him, cheeks still pink, but a sad smile on his face. “I want to say yes, Chanyeol. I really do.”

“What’s stopping you?”

“I might’ve liked you all these years, but I also really liked Sehun. I feel like such a bad person for saying this, but I was partially relieved when he broke things off,” Baekhyun said, toeing at the ground beneath him. “I was relieved, but I still loved him at the end of the day. It still hurt to end things.”

Chanyeol’s smile softened as he cast his gaze down. “I understand.”

He hears the swing next to him creak before he sees a pair of shoes pointed towards him, eyes trailing up until they met with Baekhyun’s, now standing in front of him.

“I don’t think I’ve had to look up at you since we were seven.”

Baekhyun playfully knocks Chanyeol’s head with his hand. “Shut up, Yoda.” He says before cupping Chanyeol’s cheeks together until the tall boy’s lips were pursed.

“What are you—“ Chanyeol gets out before Baekhyun leans in and presses a kiss on the giant’s lips, leaving him as red as a tomato long after the small boy had pulled away. Chanyeol’s hand moves up to graze his lips that were already forming into a wide grin.

“The answer is no, for now. I think I need some time before I’m ready to jump into another relationship. But if you’re willing to wait for me—“

“I’ve spent years waiting for you, Baek. I’d wait a whole lot more if it meant you’d be mine.”

Baekhyun smiled, a hand carding through the giant’s hair affectionately.

“Just… please don’t make me wait another decade. I’ll wait if I need to, but _god_ —“

The small boy cuts him off with another kiss, leaving the giant smiling even wider than before.

“Is it too early for me to tell you I love you?” Chanyeol asked. Baekhyun laughed.

“We haven’t even gone on a date yet, and you’re already telling me you love me?”

“I can’t help it, Baek.”

Baekhyun ruffled the giant’s hair. “You’re so dumb, Yoda.” He says, hand going down to cup the giant’s face.

“You’re lucky I love you too.”


	7. epilogue

By the time school starts again, Baekhyun and Chanyeol are officially a couple.

The workload picks up quickly, and though free time becomes rare for the two, they make time to study together (though it usually devolved from reading textbooks to Chanyeol staring unabashedly at his boyfriend and wondering when he got so lucky to be able to call him that).

He broke the news to Jongin and Kyungsoo over lunch at one of their usual restaurants, the pair congratulating him with a few too-loud shouts and pats on the back.

“Holy shit!” Jongin exclaimed. “It’s not that I was doubting you or anything, but I can’t believe you guys are together now!”

Chanyeol laughed. “I’m pretty sure that’s like, the definition of you doubting me.”

“Does this mean all of your awkward sexual tension is gonna morph into intense, mutual sexual desire?” Kyungsoo asked, half joking, half asking out of genuine worry for his next encounter with the new couple. “You know what, actually, don’t answer that. I’m just happy we’re not rooming together anymore.”

“Excuse you, I was an _excellent_ roommate.”

“Sure, Chanyeol. Whatever you say.”

They continue their lunch until Chanyeol is interrupted by the ringing of his phone.

“Ah, sorry, I gotta take this—“ the giant began.

“It’s Baekhyun, isn’t it?” Jongin asked, laughing when Chanyeol reddened a bit. “Go ahead. We’ll cover lunch today. Tell Baek we said congrats, alright?”

Chanyeol smiled with a nod as he slipped out the doors of the restaurant, picking up the call.

_“Hey, I just made it out of class. Where are you? I’ll come to you.”_

“Just finished lunch with Jongin and Kyungsoo. They say congrats, by the way.”

Chanyeol can almost _hear_ the smile in his voice. _“I miss them. Next time have lunch when I’m not in class!”_

The giant chuckled. “Sorry. You’re in the engineering building now, right? I’m nearby, just wait at the doors for me, okay?”

_“Alright, see you!”_

Chanyeol puts his phone in his pocket, heart still beating out of his chest whenever he thinks of Baekhyun. He sees the small boy from a distance away, looking down at his phone as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. He looked up as Chanyeol approached, a smile forming on his face as the giant leaned in to kiss his cheek.

“Ready to go?” Chanyeol asked, holding out his hand for Baekhyun to hold. The smaller slipped his fingers between the taller’s like their hands were meant to be together, giving him a squeeze.

“You bet.”

They walk to the nearest train station like this, hands swinging between them as Baekhyun tells his boyfriend about his lecture, complaining endlessly about his professor as the giant listens with a smile. Together, they board the first train for the next town over, settling into the seats as they waited for the train to move. Chanyeol checks his phone, texting his friend that they were on their way, looking over at Baekhyun who was already nodding off next to him.

He guides Baekhyun’s head to his shoulder, stooping a bit lower so it would be comfortable for the smaller boy.

“Thank you.” Baekhyun murmurs, already half asleep.

Chanyeol places a peck on the top of the boy’s head. “I’ll wake you when we’re there.”

It takes almost 45 minutes, but it feels like so much less time as Chanyeol snaps pictures of his sleeping boyfriend, chuckling softly to himself as he set them as his new wallpaper. He nudges Baekhyun awake as the conductor announces their imminent arrival, giving Baekhyun a few moments to fully wake up before they get off the train.

Their hands are still connected as they leave the platform, entering the main station where Chanyeol is looking around between glances at his phone as Baekhyun rubs the sleep out of his eyes.

“Chanyeol! Baekhyun!” a voice calls out to them. They turn to see Jongdae, waving his arms as he runs up to the pair. “It’s been so long! I can’t believe it took you guys this long to visit me, I was getting—“ he began before slowing to a stop at the sight of their intertwined hands. “Are… you guys…?”

The giant smiled sheepishly. “Surprise?”

Jongdae’s eyes widen as he looked between the pair in shock before letting out a few disbelieving laughs.

“It fuckin’ took you guys long enough!” 


End file.
